So…it’s not going “textbook”.
Your water broke before labor started,
your baby turned breech,
your labor stalled,
you have a swollen cervix etc…
Mama’s, labor is totally unpredictable. And the truth is, when it starts you have little control over how it happens.
If if not’s going as planned and something unexpected happens, it’s high time to ditch your Type A personality cause it’s only going to get in the way.
What should you do instead?
If what’s happening isn’t in need of immediate medical attention, but wouldn’t be classified as a “textbook” labor either, here’s what you need to do instead of trying to control it:
1) Relax, it’s not your story to write
Although all of our planning, preparation, and healthy eating and exercising do give us an advantage to having a textbook birth, it doesn’t always work out that way.
The bigger picture is that this is your baby’s birth, not yours. It’s the beginning of your baby’s story and as much as s/he is a part of you, s/he still has a story to write and play out in this life apart from you.
Dramatic entrances don’t have to mean doom and gloom for your child. It could actually be a source of strength for them when they grow older.
The best thing you can do when something unexpected happens in labor is to relax and go with the flow of the birth energy.
A great way to relax and get in the flow is to…
Is it hard for you to relax when things seem out of your control? Do you suffer from seriousitis? Do you often get in your own way in life?
Mama, life is way too short for that shit.
I used to be that way until I started practicing laughing with intention.
What is that you ask?
It’s just that – laughing with intention; not because something’s funny, but with intention.
I started laughing with intention about a year ago. Recently, I completed a 21-day Joy Experiment to see what would happen when I made my joy a priority. It was life-changing to say the least.
This laughing bit isn’t just for when things aren’t going your way in life. Laughing with intention can also help you when things aren’t going your way with your labor and birth.
Are you taking your birth too seriously? Are you going to be upset if it doesn’t go exactly as you planned?
Get up and dance, cackle, whiz and whirl, get out of your head… LAUGH when things don’t go as expected.
Doing so will help you loosen your grip and let birth happen as it wants and is in the highest good for all involved!
Starting a laughter practice before you give birth will give you the best chance at being in the space of ease and flow during labor and birth.
Join me and a bunch of other awesome people for the next 10-day Joy Experiment hosted by my friend Anne Timpany November 9-18, 2015 to help you lighten up and get out of your own way with your birth plan!
3) Focus on what IS going right
You’re having a baby! Regardless of how it’s all going down, you’re having a baby and becoming a mother hell or high water.
There will be time to process all that’s happening that wasn’t in your plans. But, while it’s happening isn’t the time to do that.
When something unexpected happens is when you need to get and stay present, connect, relax, and get in the flow of the energy of your labor the most.
You may not have control over HOW it happens, but nothing will correct issues or speed up the process more than choosing to focus on all that already is right and building on that energy.
What you focus on WILL expand!
4) Call in your support system
First off, to get a baby down and out, you have to be comfortable. You need people who are 100% supportive of your choices.
Hopefully, you’ve carefully selected your birth team and have chosen supportive people to be with you.
If you’ve hired a doula, AWESOME! She will be able to help you with the physical aspects of your birth to get things going in the right direction. (Check out the spinning babies website for amazing tips to steer a non textbook labor in the right direction.)
However, you may find that when things go unexpectedly, someone you thought would be supportive is no longer supportive of your choices…What to do?
Tell them to leave or if you’ve hired them, fire them.
If you have to, go lock yourself in the bathroom until you feel safe. Let your primal brain kick in and go with your gut…always.
Don’t worry about being kind, proper, polite. When you’re having a baby isn’t the time for pleasantries.
You need to get down to the nitty gritty and do the work that’s ahead of you NOW.
And if someone isn’t supporting you, they simply have to go.
You don’t need to apologize either. But, if you feel you need to, you can do that later.
5) Establish boundaries when writing your birth plan
As the saying goes – “knowing what you want is half the battle.”
When you know what you’ll say “hell yeah” to and “hell no” to when it comes to common interventions and newborn procedures in labor and birth, you’re halfway to getting what you want already!
What are you willing to accept if something unexpected happens?
What are you not willing to accept if something unexpected happens?
When sitting down and writing your birth plan (that’s really for you btw, not as much for the docs), you give yourself the opportunity to evaluate your ok’ness with common interventions and newborn procedures with your doula.
Your doula should be going through all of this with you or helping lead you to information to help you get the facts before making up your mind.
When everyone knows what you want, they can support you and help you better if things don’t go as planned.
Establishing boundaries ahead of time will also allow your support people to emotionally support you because they aren’t busy helping you make up your mind in the moment.
Usually not the way you want to go – making big decisions about your birth in the moment – if you can avoid it ahead of time.
Establishing boundaries beforehand = everyone knows where you stand = no one can take advantage of you = you have an empowering birth experience no matter what.
Are you digging these 5 tips to help if your labor doesn’t go as planned? If so, I’m 100% sure that you’ll LOVE reading my free eBook – Bringing Back Empowered Birth: Reclaim Your Feminine Power in Childbirth. Download it here.
In it you’ll learn 7 things you can do to have an empowering birth (especially in the hospital setting) no matter what.
Go get your copy here!
With so much love,