The Four Phases of Desire Part 2: Slow Down

The Four Phases of Desire Part 2: Slow Down

(Inspired by Kate Northrup’s recent four-part blog series on the phases of creation, I bring you the second part of my four-part blog series on the phases of desire, sexual desire, in particular. (If you missed part one, click here.) We all have desire at some point in our lives, some times more than others. Just like the phases of the moon, and the planting seasons, a woman’s desire is cyclical, like her menstrual cycle. The level of a woman’s sexual desire is often dependent on what phase of the menstrual cycle she’s in.)

 

Are you good at agreeing to a night of love-making and then not following through with it in the end because you’re too tired and exhausted?

 

Sometimes, I give myself a high-five for getting 4 kids through a day without a hospital visit.

 

And that means I’ve put so much energy into my kids that at the end of the day, I just.don’t.feel.like.it. all the time.

 

Know what I mean?

 

But what if there was no goal for love making? What if the pressure was off and you slowed everything down instead? How would that affect your follow through? Would you be more excited about a night of really slow, sensual, relaxing love making?

 

In today’s 3 minute video, you’ll learn:

 

  • How the slowing down phase of desire is akin to autumn/the luteal phase of your cycle/the waning moon
  • What to do when you’re in the slowing down phase of desire
  • The benefits of slowing down
  • How to use the slowing down phase of desire to turn numbness and pain into sensation and pleasure

 

No matter what phase of desire you’re in, it’s important to honor where you are.

 

Don’t know how to ask him to slow down?

 

I’ve got just what you need. Check out my free guided audio practice – 15 minutes to more intimacy and connection in the bedroom here.

 

If you’re ready to update how you love, relate, and communicate so you can spend more time being awesome together, check it out here!

 

With so much love,

 

Lacey

 

p.s. Are you a mom that would love to transform your exhaustion into ecstasy, so you feel sexy and confident in your body and get the intimacy and desire you crave? Sign up here to book a FREE Exhausted to Ecstatic Discovery Session with me. Once you book a day and time, I’ll be in touch via email with next steps. Can’t wait to talk mama!

 

p.s.s. Are you local in Lafayette, LA? Full Moon Women’s Circle at The Yoga Garden Sunday, August 6th, 11:15-12:45. Follow the FB link here for the details!

 

Can you believe the ancient Taoist Jade Egg practice has made it all the way from China to Lafayette, LA? Join me for Lafayette’s first ever Jade Egg workshop at The Yoga Garden August 19th 3-6:00pm. Follow the FB link here for the details!

 

Prenatal yoga at The Yoga Garden Thursday’s 5:45!

 

The Four Phases of Desire Part 1: Receive

The Four Phases of Desire Part 1: Receive

(Inspired by Kate Northrup’s recent four-part blog series on the phases of creation, I bring you the first part of my four-part blog series on the phases of desire, sexual desire, in particular. We all have desire at some point in our lives, some times more than others. Just like the phases of the moon, and the planting seasons, a woman’s desire is cyclical, like her menstrual cycle. The level of a woman’s sexual desire is often dependent on what phase of the menstrual cycle she’s in.)

 

 

You know summer’s here when mom guilt sinks in.

 

Mom guilt for allowing the kids WAY more screen time than should be legal…

 

So you can work on launching your new project or business in as much peace and quiet as possible.

 

Well, last week, summer hit the Broussard house.

 

I was mom-frazzled by Wednesday struggling working from home and giving kids attention simultaneously.

 

One task I did manage to complete was a survey on sex and motherhood.

 

I asked women what their biggest struggles were in sex, love, and relationships after having kids.

 

38 respondents later, I was surprised at the results.

 

Learn what I discovered here !

 

In the 5 minute video you’ll learn:

 

  • The top 3 issues moms face in sex, love, and relationships after having kids
  • The 4 phases of desire and how the receiving phase of desire is akin to summer/the ovulation phase of your cycle/the full moon
  • How your cycle affects your desire
  • What to do when you’re in the receiving phase of desire
  • The benefits of receiving

No matter what phase of desire you’re in, it’s important to honor where you are.

 

Afraid to ask for what you want? Don’t know how to relax into receiving?

 

I’ve got just what you need. Check out my free guided audio practice – 15 minutes to more intimacy and connection in the bedroom here.

 

If you’re ready to update how you love, relate, and communicate so you can spend more time being awesome together, check it out here!

 

With so much love,

 

Lacey

 

p.s. Are you a mom that would love to transform your exhaustion into ecstasy, so you feel sexy and confident in your body and get the intimacy and desire you crave? Sign up here to book a FREE relationship coaching session with me. Once you book a day and time, I’ll be in touch via email with next steps. Can’t wait to talk mama!

 

p.s.s. Are you local in Lafayette, LA? Full Moon Women’s Circle at The Yoga Garden Sunday, August 6th, 11:15-12:45. Follow the FB link here for the details!

 

Prenatal yoga at The Yoga Garden Thursday’s 5:45!

What Yogini’s Really Want

What Yogini’s Really Want

I went to my first yoga class in Denver, CO a few months after my youngest baby was born in 2010.

It seemed like a good workout and a great way to relax at the same time. What more does a postpartum mama want?

 

A good friend from The Rocky Mountain Miracle Center in Denver had invited me. I loved the hot yoga and how much I sweat.

 

Then I moved to Lafayette, LA in June 2011 as a single mom. It took a few weeks to find a yoga home and someone to watch my babies while I went. There were only about 3 places in town that taught at the time.

 

So I started going to the studio I could ride my bike to and found myself sitting in the Yin classes with all the old people more than the hot and powerful “yogacise” classes.

 

I questioned why I liked the yin classes more…I didn’t break a sweat, I was only 27 (not 72 like all the others haha!), I was already super flexible, it hurt more, and I balled my eyes out every single time I went… for a year straight.

 

My sweet teachers probably thought I was a hot mess. Rightly so – I was. Nonetheless, I persisted because it was the only safe place I could release relationship heartache, stress and worry, and all the issues in my tissues.

 

Fast forward to 2015, I finally found myself capable of beginning a mysore ashtanga practice – where you go and do the same asana practice each time at your own pace.

 

Although it took my body to a new level of strength and capability, I found the practice to be more rigid than my liking. So, I searched to find a style of yoga that was more pleasurable and free flowing.

 

I had spent over a year crying my eyes out in yin and another few years pushing my edge, so naturally, I wanted something in-between – something that felt pleasurable, but allowed me to release whatever I needed to release too… in a way that felt safe!

 

Then I went to Tantra school where my teacher, Layla Martin, taught me that there was a lineage of female gurus in India that taught a pleasurable, ecstatic yoga practice. Luckily, we know about them today because the men thought it might be a good idea to mention in the texts when the Muslim’s invaded India.

 

These tantrikas even had a Sanskrit word for every pleasurable sound a person could make during a yoga practice.

 

But do you ever hear about a pleasurable and ecstatic form of yoga where you can safely go to release and express whatever you need to release and express without being judged or feeling like you’re “too much”?

 

Yeah, probably not. That’s why I had to re-create it.

 

I call it yoni yoga. And if you’ve heard of and have a jade egg, you can use it with your practice, or not, whatever you prefer.

 

Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vulva and womb area of the female body and it means “sacred space”.

 

A woman in deep connection to her yoni experiences greater self-love, more personal power and freedom, ecstatic pleasure, and more joy within her body.

 

One of the many benefits of yoga is to restore connection to your body. But, the yoga we know today is a style of yoga passed on by male practitioners that often disregard the important pelvic region of the female body.

 

And if you have a yoni, you might find it a bit rigid too.

 

Unless you’re like most of us, and feel disconnected or numb down there. Which is exactly why you need to experience yoni yoga yourself.

 

Reconnecting a woman to her heart and yoni is often the missing piece in personal empowerment for women today.

 

By the time we’re teenagers, most of us have disconnected from our power center in the pelvic area due to guilt and shame around our bodies, perceived imperfections, unacknowledged life transitions such as menarche, birth, postpartum, and menopause, traumatic sexual experiences, or even a traumatic birth process.

 

To bring a more feminine approach to the yoga world, yoni yoga is a style of yoga and breathwork that I’ve developed specifically to reconnect and re-sensitize you to feeling and sensation in your pelvic region.

 

It’s my intention that through this practice, you’ll connect back to your life force and your power center so healing and integration can occur from within and personal empowerment can be restored.

 

If you’re interested in experiencing this female-centric yoga style that’s pleasurable and ecstatic and where you can safely release and express whatever you need to without being judged or feeling like you’re “too much,” I’m holding a 3-hour Yoni Yoga workshop this Saturday, July 22, 2017 at The Yoga Garden from 3:00-6:00.

 

When you leave the workshop you’ll feel:

1) A greater sense of self-love and acceptance

2) Powerful and capable of creating whatever you want in your life

3) More sensation and pleasure in your body

 

Click here for the event info and to let us know you’re going!

 

To your pleasure,

 

Lacey

 

 

How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body

How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body

Do you often feel overwhelmed with your never ending to-do list?

Maybe ease and flow seem far off because you have a hard time getting out of your head when you want to be present with your partner or kids or in your yoga/meditation/spiritual practice.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with thinking, or with your thoughts…as a busy mama a few people might depend on you to get that to-do list done. But, sometimes, you’d love to turn it off for a moment to be more present and sensitive to what’s going on in the hear and now or in your body.

But, never being able to turn it off really dampens your experience of pleasure, of intimacy, a yoga practice, birthing a baby, or when you really just wanna be present with yourself or with your kids or a loved one.

My favorite + easiest + quickest tool to get out of your head and into your body is called Body Meditation and I tell you all about it and show you a quick demo of how to do it in the video below. Check it out here!

Tapping into ease and flow is SO much easier when you bring on board the wisdom of your body and your intuition, but that’s really hard to do if you have a hard time getting out of your head.

I hope you’ll take advantage of my FREE 10minute Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body Guided Meditation so you can tap into ease and flow on a more regular basis. All you have to do is put your name and email in the box below or to the right and I’ll email you the link right away!

Enjoy!

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. Are you in Lafayette, LA and pregnant? Join me for prenatal yoga every Thursday 5:45 at The Yoga Garden to learn ways to relieve common pregnancy discomforts, practice building pelvic floor strength and flexibility, discover ways to aid baby to get in the optimum position for birth, and build friendships with other women due the same time as you!

p.s.s. Yoni Yoga Workshop #2 is happening at The Yoga Garden July 22 3-6:00pm. Go to the Facebook event page here to learn more!

How To Awaken Your Sexual Energy After Having Kids

How To Awaken Your Sexual Energy After Having Kids

No surprises here, most of us aren’t prepared to navigate relationship changes after having kids.

We don’t know what’s ‘normal’ and what’s not. So, we adopt society’s expectations as ‘normal’ and think we should be like that too… like:
 
“Be ready for sex, get back to your pre-pregnancy weight, get back to work full-time…all by 6 weeks postpartum. But make sure you know that mothers can’t be sexually alive, and radiant humans either.”
 
And over time, those expectations and beliefs kill our desire for sex because it stresses us out and makes us feel inadequate and crazy.

Truth is, you’re not crazy, but that thinking is crazy!

The female body wasn’t designed to recover from childbirth in 6 weeks. Try 3 years.

And just because you’re a mama now doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t feel sexually alive, vibrant and radiant.

Most of us will, unfortunately, adopt the societal norm of mothers for ourselves that causes undue stress and tension that eventually leads to relationship dissatisfaction.

Simply because most of what we’ve been taught about being a mother doesn’t support healthy relationships or sex lives and most of it isn’t even true.

And it’s not like we’ve been given any tools or practices to help otherwise…

All this to say that…if you’re still reading this, you’re a gem and I’m so glad you’re here.

Because there’s a spark in you that says you’re not ok with mediocre, because there’s something in you that says you’re not ok with dimming your light just because you have kids.

If you’ve ever wondered, “How can I stop wanting to want it and just… want it?” Or, “Is it ok to feel so turned-on by my man when he helps out with the kids I can hardly control myself?”

The answer is YES! That is all ok here.

But if you’re the former, and you’re tired of feeling tired and you’re ready to start feeling like the sexy, alive, vibrant and radiant mama you know you can be, I’ve got 4 ways to awaken your sexual energy after having kids that will have you feeling like the goddess that you are very soon.

1) Make your pleasure a priority.

Making your pleasure a priority is a new concept for most of us women because we’ve been rewarded all our lives for putting our pleasure last.

Wherever you got your sexual education, it probably taught you all about men and their anatomy and pleasure centers and nothing about your own.

And somewhere along the lines this gave you the message that sex is for men’s gratification, not yours.

Well, our anatomy tells us a different story. Because it gave us women an organ that serves no other function than pleasure… something men don’t have.

Whether it’s making time to do these 3 self-love practices that will ignite your radiance, self-pleasuring, or having your partner give you a sensual massage with no other expectations…

You and your partner will need to make your pleasure a priority to awaken your sexual energy.

2) Understand that intimacy doesn’t have to involve intercourse.

In our sex-obsessed culture, we’ve forgotten the source of true intimacy. Fyi, it’s not just sex. Intimacy happens when we relate to each other in a certain way. So, you can totally have an intimate experience with someone without having sex.

Since couples, in general, miss the connection with each other more than sex after having kids; it’s important to shift the primary intimate connection of the relationship from sex to something else.

If sex happens, view it as a bonus intimate connection. But, don’t let it be the only source of intimacy.

Intimacy can be achieved by simply sitting across from each other, looking into each other’s eyes and breathing together. Or, sharing things you love about each other with one another.

Intimacy is really as simple as that. (Stay tuned for 3 intimacy-building practices for couples over the next 3 weeks…)

3) Drop the goal of orgasm

If you want to awaken your sexual energy and increase your desire, it’s super important for the both of you to not have a goal or agenda for any sexual encounter.

Instead of leading your time together with the goal of orgasm, take time to ignite all of your senses and surrender to the moment instead.

When sex happens with no goal of orgasm, it releases the brakes, which, in turn, accelerates your accelerator further increasing your desire.

For men, sex without orgasm is a hard one because they really care about pleasuring you. This is a good thing and a bad thing.

Good, because they really do care about your pleasure and bad because if you don’t orgasm, they often take it personally.

To make it easier and more pleasurable for the both of you, ensure him that you enjoy your time with him and find it pleasurable (if indeed that is true for your experience together) regardless of whether or not you have an orgasm.

So the more you practice surrendering to the moment and dropping any goal for your sexual encounters, the easier and more naturally your sexual energy will begin to awaken.

4) Focus on sensation

Instead of going for a goal, shift your focus during sex to the sensations happening in your body.

What are you feeling in the moment? What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you see? What do you taste?

It can help to ignite your senses by setting the space beforehand: light a scented candle, buy some chocolate covered strawberries to share together, really listen to the quality of your partner’s voice or put on some sensual music, use an essential oil infused massage oil, focus on your partner’s eyes…

When you focus on the sensations happening during your sexual encounters, it keeps your mind out of fantasy or a goal and keeps it in the present moment.

Once you practice focusing on sensations instead of fantasies or goals, you’ll find that you actually become more sensitive and turned-on.

Mama, your radiance that ignites as a result of awakening your sexual energy isn’t a luxury…it’s a necessity.

The world needs you alive. We need you radiant. We need you to shine your light.

Let me know in the comments section below which of the 4 tips stood out to you the most? I’d love to hear!

With so much love,

Lacey

Ignite Your Radiance as a New Mama With These 3 Self-Love Practices

Ignite Your Radiance as a New Mama With These 3 Self-Love Practices

When I birthed my preterm baby on all fours of the hospital labor and delivery room, I felt like a badass warrior goddess.

But after a 10-day NICU stay, sleep deprivation, sore nipples, and a couple life or death scares later, I lost it…

the pregnancy glow, the radiance, the connection to my body…it all disappeared like a thief in the night knowing good and well that I had to get back what was lost. Like, now!

But, what exactly was it? Where did it go? How could I get it back? At the time, I didn’t realize what “it” was.

After witnessing over 100 women have empowering births as a doula, I started to realize that “it” was: a woman’s radiance, her connection to her body, her power.

In the throws of caring for a newborn and toddler, getting divorced, moving across the country, navigating single-parenthood, and starting a brand-new job, I had lost the love and connection I had with my body while pregnant and birthing my babies…like so many other women.

With the intent to learn to connect with my glow and radiance again, I searched out teachers, healers, coaches, and mentors to help.

Soon, I started learning how to love myself and connect to my body until I started feeling radiant again.

For the time I wasted looking for my radiance outside of myself, I was saddened at the years lost searching for something that was within me all along.

You might want to go buy some clothes that fit, you might need a lunch date with your closest girl-friend for some “me-time”, you might want to put on your sexiest shade of lipstick and have a dance-party with your 1-year old, cause, let’s face it, doing all this is essential to keeping your sanity after the life transition of pregnancy and birth.

But if you’re ready to take things a step further and ignite your radiance and connection with your body after having a baby, here are 3 self-love practices for you to do as soon as you’re physically capable so you can feel like the goddess that you are every day:

1) Create a list of all the amazing ways your body worked for you and your baby to grow, support, and birth another human being in this world. Write them down and post them around your house.

No matter how your pregnancy and birth went, you grew a baby and birthed it. And because of that, you are a legend and a miracle. Give yourself some credit for it.

Too many women get caught up in negative body-image talk after having a baby.

Stretch marks galore, swollen breasts that give way to saggy ones, wrinkles and folds in new places, we’re all expected to get rid of all those in no-time instead of revel in and give gratitude for all the ways our body did us right.

Stop and give yourself the celebration it deserves. When you celebrate your body and all that it did for you and your baby instead of placing unrealistic expectations on yourself, you’re much more likely to experience optimal health and wellness.

2) Shower your body in love and gratitude by giving yourself a breast massage with your favorite oils.

For ages, women have been told to perform breast massage to gain awareness of any tissue changes that they may need to report to their health-care provider.

However, breast massage is such a potent way to increase self-love as well as relieve pain and discomfort from engorgement or PMS symptoms. It also helps to minimize stretchmarks, improve skin tone, prevent sagging, and improve shape.

Although you might be experiencing sore nipples and feeling “touched-out,” breast massage will offer a new experience to have you feeling less pain around the area outside of your areola and a greater sense of self-love.

To do breast massage, pour a generous amount of coconut or olive oil in your hands. I like to add 5-6 drops of my favorite essential oil to enhance the experience.

Rub your hands together until the oil is warm and slowly bring your hands to the outside of your breasts. Start massaging in a circular direction going down on the outside and up on the inside for 2-3 minutes. Then, reverse the direction and go do up on the outside and down on the inside for another 2-3 minutes.

Remember this is a self-love practice so be very gentle with yourself and massage to the degree of firmness that feels good to you.

When you are finished, wrap your arms around yourself a give yourself a big hug.

3) Dig out the hand-held mirror, take a good look at your postpartum vulva, tell her hello and that you love her every single day for 21 days.

Because it’s rarely talked about, you may have heard the myth that a vaginal birth will wreck your vulva. After all, there’s no way to see what a post-vaginal birth vulva looks like leaving many mamas struggling with the appearance after giving birth.

You may have experienced some tearing and swelling immediately after birth that may have scared or worried you that things would never go back to normal.

Your vagina is an amazing healing machine. You will heal and things will look normal down there again soon.

Instead of fretting, connect with your vulva every day and show her some love for what she’s done for you and your baby. Literally, give her 30 seconds every day for 21 days with a simple “hello beautiful. Thank you.” And watch your radiance ignite.

The world needs more mamas connecting to their body and inner radiance, and who truly love themselves. You are a unique individual with a light and message to share with the world. Ignite your radiance with these 3 self-love practices and share it.

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. Afraid of what’s going to happen to your sex life after having kids? Set yourself up for optimum health and get my FREE handout on 6 Fail-proof Steps to Creating a Rocking Postpartum Sex Life now by entering your name and email anywhere on the website. Bonus: you’ll get access to exclusive content and discounts I only offer via email!