The Four Phases of Desire Part 2: Slow Down

The Four Phases of Desire Part 2: Slow Down

(Inspired by Kate Northrup’s recent four-part blog series on the phases of creation, I bring you the second part of my four-part blog series on the phases of desire, sexual desire, in particular. (If you missed part one, click here.) We all have desire at some point in our lives, some times more than others. Just like the phases of the moon, and the planting seasons, a woman’s desire is cyclical, like her menstrual cycle. The level of a woman’s sexual desire is often dependent on what phase of the menstrual cycle she’s in.)

 

Are you good at agreeing to a night of love-making and then not following through with it in the end because you’re too tired and exhausted?

 

Sometimes, I give myself a high-five for getting 4 kids through a day without a hospital visit.

 

And that means I’ve put so much energy into my kids that at the end of the day, I just.don’t.feel.like.it. all the time.

 

Know what I mean?

 

But what if there was no goal for love making? What if the pressure was off and you slowed everything down instead? How would that affect your follow through? Would you be more excited about a night of really slow, sensual, relaxing love making?

 

In today’s 3 minute video, you’ll learn:

 

  • How the slowing down phase of desire is akin to autumn/the luteal phase of your cycle/the waning moon
  • What to do when you’re in the slowing down phase of desire
  • The benefits of slowing down
  • How to use the slowing down phase of desire to turn numbness and pain into sensation and pleasure

 

No matter what phase of desire you’re in, it’s important to honor where you are.

 

Don’t know how to ask him to slow down?

 

I’ve got just what you need. Check out my free guided audio practice – 15 minutes to more intimacy and connection in the bedroom here.

 

If you’re ready to update how you love, relate, and communicate so you can spend more time being awesome together, check it out here!

 

With so much love,

 

Lacey

 

p.s. Are you a mom that would love to transform your exhaustion into ecstasy, so you feel sexy and confident in your body and get the intimacy and desire you crave? Sign up here to book a FREE Exhausted to Ecstatic Discovery Session with me. Once you book a day and time, I’ll be in touch via email with next steps. Can’t wait to talk mama!

 

p.s.s. Are you local in Lafayette, LA? Full Moon Women’s Circle at The Yoga Garden Sunday, August 6th, 11:15-12:45. Follow the FB link here for the details!

 

Can you believe the ancient Taoist Jade Egg practice has made it all the way from China to Lafayette, LA? Join me for Lafayette’s first ever Jade Egg workshop at The Yoga Garden August 19th 3-6:00pm. Follow the FB link here for the details!

 

Prenatal yoga at The Yoga Garden Thursday’s 5:45!

 

The Four Phases of Desire Part 1: Receive

The Four Phases of Desire Part 1: Receive

(Inspired by Kate Northrup’s recent four-part blog series on the phases of creation, I bring you the first part of my four-part blog series on the phases of desire, sexual desire, in particular. We all have desire at some point in our lives, some times more than others. Just like the phases of the moon, and the planting seasons, a woman’s desire is cyclical, like her menstrual cycle. The level of a woman’s sexual desire is often dependent on what phase of the menstrual cycle she’s in.)

 

 

You know summer’s here when mom guilt sinks in.

 

Mom guilt for allowing the kids WAY more screen time than should be legal…

 

So you can work on launching your new project or business in as much peace and quiet as possible.

 

Well, last week, summer hit the Broussard house.

 

I was mom-frazzled by Wednesday struggling working from home and giving kids attention simultaneously.

 

One task I did manage to complete was a survey on sex and motherhood.

 

I asked women what their biggest struggles were in sex, love, and relationships after having kids.

 

38 respondents later, I was surprised at the results.

 

Learn what I discovered here !

 

In the 5 minute video you’ll learn:

 

  • The top 3 issues moms face in sex, love, and relationships after having kids
  • The 4 phases of desire and how the receiving phase of desire is akin to summer/the ovulation phase of your cycle/the full moon
  • How your cycle affects your desire
  • What to do when you’re in the receiving phase of desire
  • The benefits of receiving

No matter what phase of desire you’re in, it’s important to honor where you are.

 

Afraid to ask for what you want? Don’t know how to relax into receiving?

 

I’ve got just what you need. Check out my free guided audio practice – 15 minutes to more intimacy and connection in the bedroom here.

 

If you’re ready to update how you love, relate, and communicate so you can spend more time being awesome together, check it out here!

 

With so much love,

 

Lacey

 

p.s. Are you a mom that would love to transform your exhaustion into ecstasy, so you feel sexy and confident in your body and get the intimacy and desire you crave? Sign up here to book a FREE relationship coaching session with me. Once you book a day and time, I’ll be in touch via email with next steps. Can’t wait to talk mama!

 

p.s.s. Are you local in Lafayette, LA? Full Moon Women’s Circle at The Yoga Garden Sunday, August 6th, 11:15-12:45. Follow the FB link here for the details!

 

Prenatal yoga at The Yoga Garden Thursday’s 5:45!

How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body

How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body

Do you often feel overwhelmed with your never ending to-do list?

Maybe ease and flow seem far off because you have a hard time getting out of your head when you want to be present with your partner or kids or in your yoga/meditation/spiritual practice.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with thinking, or with your thoughts…as a busy mama a few people might depend on you to get that to-do list done. But, sometimes, you’d love to turn it off for a moment to be more present and sensitive to what’s going on in the hear and now or in your body.

But, never being able to turn it off really dampens your experience of pleasure, of intimacy, a yoga practice, birthing a baby, or when you really just wanna be present with yourself or with your kids or a loved one.

My favorite + easiest + quickest tool to get out of your head and into your body is called Body Meditation and I tell you all about it and show you a quick demo of how to do it in the video below. Check it out here!

Tapping into ease and flow is SO much easier when you bring on board the wisdom of your body and your intuition, but that’s really hard to do if you have a hard time getting out of your head.

I hope you’ll take advantage of my FREE 10minute Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body Guided Meditation so you can tap into ease and flow on a more regular basis. All you have to do is put your name and email in the box below or to the right and I’ll email you the link right away!

Enjoy!

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. Are you in Lafayette, LA and pregnant? Join me for prenatal yoga every Thursday 5:45 at The Yoga Garden to learn ways to relieve common pregnancy discomforts, practice building pelvic floor strength and flexibility, discover ways to aid baby to get in the optimum position for birth, and build friendships with other women due the same time as you!

p.s.s. Yoni Yoga Workshop #2 is happening at The Yoga Garden July 22 3-6:00pm. Go to the Facebook event page here to learn more!

How To Awaken Your Sexual Energy After Having Kids

How To Awaken Your Sexual Energy After Having Kids

No surprises here, most of us aren’t prepared to navigate relationship changes after having kids.

We don’t know what’s ‘normal’ and what’s not. So, we adopt society’s expectations as ‘normal’ and think we should be like that too… like:
 
“Be ready for sex, get back to your pre-pregnancy weight, get back to work full-time…all by 6 weeks postpartum. But make sure you know that mothers can’t be sexually alive, and radiant humans either.”
 
And over time, those expectations and beliefs kill our desire for sex because it stresses us out and makes us feel inadequate and crazy.

Truth is, you’re not crazy, but that thinking is crazy!

The female body wasn’t designed to recover from childbirth in 6 weeks. Try 3 years.

And just because you’re a mama now doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t feel sexually alive, vibrant and radiant.

Most of us will, unfortunately, adopt the societal norm of mothers for ourselves that causes undue stress and tension that eventually leads to relationship dissatisfaction.

Simply because most of what we’ve been taught about being a mother doesn’t support healthy relationships or sex lives and most of it isn’t even true.

And it’s not like we’ve been given any tools or practices to help otherwise…

All this to say that…if you’re still reading this, you’re a gem and I’m so glad you’re here.

Because there’s a spark in you that says you’re not ok with mediocre, because there’s something in you that says you’re not ok with dimming your light just because you have kids.

If you’ve ever wondered, “How can I stop wanting to want it and just… want it?” Or, “Is it ok to feel so turned-on by my man when he helps out with the kids I can hardly control myself?”

The answer is YES! That is all ok here.

But if you’re the former, and you’re tired of feeling tired and you’re ready to start feeling like the sexy, alive, vibrant and radiant mama you know you can be, I’ve got 4 ways to awaken your sexual energy after having kids that will have you feeling like the goddess that you are very soon.

1) Make your pleasure a priority.

Making your pleasure a priority is a new concept for most of us women because we’ve been rewarded all our lives for putting our pleasure last.

Wherever you got your sexual education, it probably taught you all about men and their anatomy and pleasure centers and nothing about your own.

And somewhere along the lines this gave you the message that sex is for men’s gratification, not yours.

Well, our anatomy tells us a different story. Because it gave us women an organ that serves no other function than pleasure… something men don’t have.

Whether it’s making time to do these 3 self-love practices that will ignite your radiance, self-pleasuring, or having your partner give you a sensual massage with no other expectations…

You and your partner will need to make your pleasure a priority to awaken your sexual energy.

2) Understand that intimacy doesn’t have to involve intercourse.

In our sex-obsessed culture, we’ve forgotten the source of true intimacy. Fyi, it’s not just sex. Intimacy happens when we relate to each other in a certain way. So, you can totally have an intimate experience with someone without having sex.

Since couples, in general, miss the connection with each other more than sex after having kids; it’s important to shift the primary intimate connection of the relationship from sex to something else.

If sex happens, view it as a bonus intimate connection. But, don’t let it be the only source of intimacy.

Intimacy can be achieved by simply sitting across from each other, looking into each other’s eyes and breathing together. Or, sharing things you love about each other with one another.

Intimacy is really as simple as that. (Stay tuned for 3 intimacy-building practices for couples over the next 3 weeks…)

3) Drop the goal of orgasm

If you want to awaken your sexual energy and increase your desire, it’s super important for the both of you to not have a goal or agenda for any sexual encounter.

Instead of leading your time together with the goal of orgasm, take time to ignite all of your senses and surrender to the moment instead.

When sex happens with no goal of orgasm, it releases the brakes, which, in turn, accelerates your accelerator further increasing your desire.

For men, sex without orgasm is a hard one because they really care about pleasuring you. This is a good thing and a bad thing.

Good, because they really do care about your pleasure and bad because if you don’t orgasm, they often take it personally.

To make it easier and more pleasurable for the both of you, ensure him that you enjoy your time with him and find it pleasurable (if indeed that is true for your experience together) regardless of whether or not you have an orgasm.

So the more you practice surrendering to the moment and dropping any goal for your sexual encounters, the easier and more naturally your sexual energy will begin to awaken.

4) Focus on sensation

Instead of going for a goal, shift your focus during sex to the sensations happening in your body.

What are you feeling in the moment? What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you see? What do you taste?

It can help to ignite your senses by setting the space beforehand: light a scented candle, buy some chocolate covered strawberries to share together, really listen to the quality of your partner’s voice or put on some sensual music, use an essential oil infused massage oil, focus on your partner’s eyes…

When you focus on the sensations happening during your sexual encounters, it keeps your mind out of fantasy or a goal and keeps it in the present moment.

Once you practice focusing on sensations instead of fantasies or goals, you’ll find that you actually become more sensitive and turned-on.

Mama, your radiance that ignites as a result of awakening your sexual energy isn’t a luxury…it’s a necessity.

The world needs you alive. We need you radiant. We need you to shine your light.

Let me know in the comments section below which of the 4 tips stood out to you the most? I’d love to hear!

With so much love,

Lacey

Ignite Your Radiance as a New Mama With These 3 Self-Love Practices

Ignite Your Radiance as a New Mama With These 3 Self-Love Practices

When I birthed my preterm baby on all fours of the hospital labor and delivery room, I felt like a badass warrior goddess.

But after a 10-day NICU stay, sleep deprivation, sore nipples, and a couple life or death scares later, I lost it…

the pregnancy glow, the radiance, the connection to my body…it all disappeared like a thief in the night knowing good and well that I had to get back what was lost. Like, now!

But, what exactly was it? Where did it go? How could I get it back? At the time, I didn’t realize what “it” was.

After witnessing over 100 women have empowering births as a doula, I started to realize that “it” was: a woman’s radiance, her connection to her body, her power.

In the throws of caring for a newborn and toddler, getting divorced, moving across the country, navigating single-parenthood, and starting a brand-new job, I had lost the love and connection I had with my body while pregnant and birthing my babies…like so many other women.

With the intent to learn to connect with my glow and radiance again, I searched out teachers, healers, coaches, and mentors to help.

Soon, I started learning how to love myself and connect to my body until I started feeling radiant again.

For the time I wasted looking for my radiance outside of myself, I was saddened at the years lost searching for something that was within me all along.

You might want to go buy some clothes that fit, you might need a lunch date with your closest girl-friend for some “me-time”, you might want to put on your sexiest shade of lipstick and have a dance-party with your 1-year old, cause, let’s face it, doing all this is essential to keeping your sanity after the life transition of pregnancy and birth.

But if you’re ready to take things a step further and ignite your radiance and connection with your body after having a baby, here are 3 self-love practices for you to do as soon as you’re physically capable so you can feel like the goddess that you are every day:

1) Create a list of all the amazing ways your body worked for you and your baby to grow, support, and birth another human being in this world. Write them down and post them around your house.

No matter how your pregnancy and birth went, you grew a baby and birthed it. And because of that, you are a legend and a miracle. Give yourself some credit for it.

Too many women get caught up in negative body-image talk after having a baby.

Stretch marks galore, swollen breasts that give way to saggy ones, wrinkles and folds in new places, we’re all expected to get rid of all those in no-time instead of revel in and give gratitude for all the ways our body did us right.

Stop and give yourself the celebration it deserves. When you celebrate your body and all that it did for you and your baby instead of placing unrealistic expectations on yourself, you’re much more likely to experience optimal health and wellness.

2) Shower your body in love and gratitude by giving yourself a breast massage with your favorite oils.

For ages, women have been told to perform breast massage to gain awareness of any tissue changes that they may need to report to their health-care provider.

However, breast massage is such a potent way to increase self-love as well as relieve pain and discomfort from engorgement or PMS symptoms. It also helps to minimize stretchmarks, improve skin tone, prevent sagging, and improve shape.

Although you might be experiencing sore nipples and feeling “touched-out,” breast massage will offer a new experience to have you feeling less pain around the area outside of your areola and a greater sense of self-love.

To do breast massage, pour a generous amount of coconut or olive oil in your hands. I like to add 5-6 drops of my favorite essential oil to enhance the experience.

Rub your hands together until the oil is warm and slowly bring your hands to the outside of your breasts. Start massaging in a circular direction going down on the outside and up on the inside for 2-3 minutes. Then, reverse the direction and go do up on the outside and down on the inside for another 2-3 minutes.

Remember this is a self-love practice so be very gentle with yourself and massage to the degree of firmness that feels good to you.

When you are finished, wrap your arms around yourself a give yourself a big hug.

3) Dig out the hand-held mirror, take a good look at your postpartum vulva, tell her hello and that you love her every single day for 21 days.

Because it’s rarely talked about, you may have heard the myth that a vaginal birth will wreck your vulva. After all, there’s no way to see what a post-vaginal birth vulva looks like leaving many mamas struggling with the appearance after giving birth.

You may have experienced some tearing and swelling immediately after birth that may have scared or worried you that things would never go back to normal.

Your vagina is an amazing healing machine. You will heal and things will look normal down there again soon.

Instead of fretting, connect with your vulva every day and show her some love for what she’s done for you and your baby. Literally, give her 30 seconds every day for 21 days with a simple “hello beautiful. Thank you.” And watch your radiance ignite.

The world needs more mamas connecting to their body and inner radiance, and who truly love themselves. You are a unique individual with a light and message to share with the world. Ignite your radiance with these 3 self-love practices and share it.

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. Afraid of what’s going to happen to your sex life after having kids? Set yourself up for optimum health and get my FREE handout on 6 Fail-proof Steps to Creating a Rocking Postpartum Sex Life now by entering your name and email anywhere on the website. Bonus: you’ll get access to exclusive content and discounts I only offer via email!

 

 

 

Jade Egg for Postpartum Healing

Jade Egg for Postpartum Healing

To be honest, I get super bummed every time I go to a postpartum appointment as a doula…

Because I wonder how I can possibly wrap up everything this women has been through and needs to know about for the next year in one, one-hour session.

Knowing what’s ahead for her and wanting to help more.

I worry about her getting postpartum depression because there’s so little support.

I worry about her relationship, because I personally know how challenging it can be to get on the same team and re-define roles.

I worry if her stitches will heal properly,

If her doctor will actually have something useful to say if she’s experiencing pain with intercourse.

I worry if her and her partner will ‘make it through’

I worry if she’ll unnecessarily experience incontinence for years.

I worry because we have no systematic rehabilitation process in the US to restore a women’s sexual health post-birth,

Leaving countless women suffering in silence with their relationships and sex lives.

However, this lack of support isn’t universal…

Countries like France, Japan, and Malaysia have support systems in place to help a women restore her pelvic floor and sexual health,

Preventing or even eliminating many of the problems that women experience in the first year postpartum such as organ prolapse, incontinence, pain during intercourse, numbness, tenderness etc…

France does this by giving postpartum women access to cooch coaches who evaluate your pelvic floor and give you practices and exercises to help restore function.

Many East Asian countries have practices such as mother roasting and belly binding, and…my #1 postpartum healing practice from the Taoist tradition – the jade egg practice.

The jade egg is my favorite postpartum healing practice for 3 reasons:

1) It reestablishes great pelvic health

Women experience all sorts of pelvic health issues post-birth such as: organ prolapse (40% of women will experience some sort of prolapse within their lifetime), incontinence, and disconnection, numbness, or tenderness in the vagina or cervix.

And because we have no systematic rehabilitation of the vagina post-birth and often suffer in silence or don’t know how or where to get help, we experience decreased libido that leads to stress in our relationships.

We want to feel good down there, but something’s not quite right.

And that totally sucks.

Great news is, the jade egg absolutely can heal incontinence, prolapse, disconnection, numbness, and tenderness and is even recommended by some OB/GYN’s.

It can heal these issues by helping to build inner muscular strength at different depths inside of the vagina.

If used at the entrance of the vagina, the jade egg can heal incontinence or bladder prolapse.

If used deeper inside of the vagina towards the cervix, the jade egg can heal cervical or uterine prolapse.

And used at any depth, the jade egg creates a deeper mind/body connection, increasing sensitivity while reducing tenderness.

Kegels aren’t that cool. They only help with incontinence.

2) It awakens and ignites your sexual energy after having a baby

First of all, you’ve gotta know that it’s totally normal to experience decreased libido post-birth… for a while.

But, when you want to want it and it’s just not there, the jade egg awaits you!

Starting a jade egg practice sky rockets libido for most women,

Especially if you’re someone who doesn’t have any major limiting beliefs around sex or if you simply feel tired, overwhelmed, or that you don’t have time for it.

The jade egg does this by activating energy channels in your body that open you up to pleasure and reconnect you to your sexual and creative power.

What’s actually happening when you start the practice is that the egg massages reflexology points in your vagina within your pelvic floor and encourages balance, beauty and youth.

No need for a female Viagra or even a fountain of youth. We’ve had it for thousands of years already…Yay!

3) It’s a self-care practice you can do on your own once you learn how to use it

One of the most empowering and beautiful things about this practice is that once you buy an egg and learn how to use it, the practice becomes yours.

It’s like yoga for the vagina.

You can take it wherever you want and do the practice whenever you want and however you like.

You can fine-tune it and tweak it to be what you want in a way that supports you.

And there’s nothing as empowering as that.

If you’re hardly containing yourself at the thought of, “How can I get my hands on that and learn how to use it?” no worries my love. I’ve got you covered…

First, make sure you put your name and email anywhere on the website so you can get updated about my jade egg shop opening early next year as well as updates about future live and online jade egg workshops so you can learn how to use it!

And if you’re so excited you just can’t hide it, go purchase one here or here for now and get started right away.

Here’s to your amazing postpartum health

With so much love,

Lacey