Jade Egg for Postpartum Healing

Jade Egg for Postpartum Healing

To be honest, I get super bummed every time I go to a postpartum appointment as a doula…

Because I wonder how I can possibly wrap up everything this women has been through and needs to know about for the next year in one, one-hour session.

Knowing what’s ahead for her and wanting to help more.

I worry about her getting postpartum depression because there’s so little support.

I worry about her relationship, because I personally know how challenging it can be to get on the same team and re-define roles.

I worry if her stitches will heal properly,

If her doctor will actually have something useful to say if she’s experiencing pain with intercourse.

I worry if her and her partner will ‘make it through’

I worry if she’ll unnecessarily experience incontinence for years.

I worry because we have no systematic rehabilitation process in the US to restore a women’s sexual health post-birth,

Leaving countless women suffering in silence with their relationships and sex lives.

However, this lack of support isn’t universal…

Countries like France, Japan, and Malaysia have support systems in place to help a women restore her pelvic floor and sexual health,

Preventing or even eliminating many of the problems that women experience in the first year postpartum such as organ prolapse, incontinence, pain during intercourse, numbness, tenderness etc…

France does this by giving postpartum women access to cooch coaches who evaluate your pelvic floor and give you practices and exercises to help restore function.

Many East Asian countries have practices such as mother roasting and belly binding, and…my #1 postpartum healing practice from the Taoist tradition – the jade egg practice.

The jade egg is my favorite postpartum healing practice for 3 reasons:

1) It reestablishes great pelvic health

Women experience all sorts of pelvic health issues post-birth such as: organ prolapse (40% of women will experience some sort of prolapse within their lifetime), incontinence, and disconnection, numbness, or tenderness in the vagina or cervix.

And because we have no systematic rehabilitation of the vagina post-birth and often suffer in silence or don’t know how or where to get help, we experience decreased libido that leads to stress in our relationships.

We want to feel good down there, but something’s not quite right.

And that totally sucks.

Great news is, the jade egg absolutely can heal incontinence, prolapse, disconnection, numbness, and tenderness and is even recommended by some OB/GYN’s.

It can heal these issues by helping to build inner muscular strength at different depths inside of the vagina.

If used at the entrance of the vagina, the jade egg can heal incontinence or bladder prolapse.

If used deeper inside of the vagina towards the cervix, the jade egg can heal cervical or uterine prolapse.

And used at any depth, the jade egg creates a deeper mind/body connection, increasing sensitivity while reducing tenderness.

Kegels aren’t that cool. They only help with incontinence.

2) It awakens and ignites your sexual energy after having a baby

First of all, you’ve gotta know that it’s totally normal to experience decreased libido post-birth… for a while.

But, when you want to want it and it’s just not there, the jade egg awaits you!

Starting a jade egg practice sky rockets libido for most women,

Especially if you’re someone who doesn’t have any major limiting beliefs around sex or if you simply feel tired, overwhelmed, or that you don’t have time for it.

The jade egg does this by activating energy channels in your body that open you up to pleasure and reconnect you to your sexual and creative power.

What’s actually happening when you start the practice is that the egg massages reflexology points in your vagina within your pelvic floor and encourages balance, beauty and youth.

No need for a female Viagra or even a fountain of youth. We’ve had it for thousands of years already…Yay!

3) It’s a self-care practice you can do on your own once you learn how to use it

One of the most empowering and beautiful things about this practice is that once you buy an egg and learn how to use it, the practice becomes yours.

It’s like yoga for the vagina.

You can take it wherever you want and do the practice whenever you want and however you like.

You can fine-tune it and tweak it to be what you want in a way that supports you.

And there’s nothing as empowering as that.

If you’re hardly containing yourself at the thought of, “How can I get my hands on that and learn how to use it?” no worries my love. I’ve got you covered…

First, make sure you put your name and email anywhere on the website so you can get updated about my jade egg shop opening early next year as well as updates about future live and online jade egg workshops so you can learn how to use it!

And if you’re so excited you just can’t hide it, go purchase one here or here for now and get started right away.

Here’s to your amazing postpartum health

With so much love,

Lacey

6 Keys to Reclaiming Your Power and Confidence in Birth

6 Keys to Reclaiming Your Power and Confidence in Birth

Has anyone ever rolled their eyes or looked at you funny when you told them you wanted a natural birth?

That’s because we’ve all been brainwashed.

If you’re like me, you’ve been told since you were a little girl that birth is painful and horrible and that you’re going to not only WANT the drugs, but also NEED them.

So, you do what everyone else does and let the doctor handle it.

Unless you’re hardheaded like me and decide from the get-go that it doesn’t have to be that way for you.

Good new is… it doesn’t.

Bad new is… you’re gonna have to put in some time and effort to learn what it takes to reverse the brainwashing and get confident.

If you want to get confident about having an empowering, ecstatic, natural birth, you need to watch the free masterclass I have for you here.

Cause in it, you’ll learn the 6 keys to reclaiming your power and confidence in birth.

Only when you know the “what” and “why”, can you practice the HOW to have the birth experience you’re really wanting.

Check it out here!

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. Have you heard I’m hosting a postpartum event soon? If you’re in Lafayette, LA, check it out here

5 Sexy Facts to Improve Your Postpartum Sex Life

5 Sexy Facts to Improve Your Postpartum Sex Life

There are so many things in life we’re heavily schooled on. But, when it comes to our postpartum sex life, what we’ve been taught makes us feel like there’s something wrong with us.

And the little we do learn about our sexuality from parents, teachers, friends, and cousins is 90% about men anyway.

So what about the women, the mamas? What are you to make of your sexuality in a world that doesn’t teach you correct facts about it? Especially after having a baby…

For most of us, it’s doom and gloom because we absorb the cultural message which says that women should have spontaneous desire, orgasm from penetration, that we should get wet when we’re turned on, and that we should be totally up for sex by 6 weeks postpartum.

Lemme tell ya a lil somethin about this message – it’s ruining your postpartum sex life.

Phew, now that we’ve got that out the way, I want you to take everything you learned about what your postpartum sex life should be like and throw it out the window. Got it? Good. Go do it now.

To start on a clean slate is to learn the facts first then make what you want out of the rest.

Because, everything your culture taught you to believe about your sexuality is probably untrue.

And recognizing instead, that you’re actually normal and not broken is step one to having a rocking postpartum sex life. (To get notified of the next blog coming out on “How to Have a Rocking Postpartum Sex Life”, put in your name and email anywhere on the website or right here!!!)

In my overly church-going, your-body-is-sinful-and-you-should-be-ashamed-of-yourself-for-feeling-pleasure upbringing, I was secretly fascinated with understanding the science behind everything sensual and erotic because I’m a total science geek and a rebel.

So by the time I was in 7th grade, I opted out of taking sex-ed with my class so that I could read the text book instead and hopefully gain more insight than listening to pubescent teenagers snicker at the word “penis” and “vagina”.

I was very disappointed that the text book only taught me about my reproductive system and nothing about my sexuality.

So by the time I turned 31, I stepped up and took matters into my own hands and read and studied every book in the library on female sexuality and started a daily practice to heal myself of the guilt and shame I grew up with around it.

The result? I learned a TON and healed myself of all that.

I really couldn’t believe how under-educated we women are about our bodies and our sexuality. It’s not that the science isn’t there. I mean, yeah, science is ahead of understanding male sexuality over female, but if we women only knew the science that ALREADY exists, we would feel so much more confidence and joy within our bodies just knowing that we’re all normal!

So let’s clear up a few things and teach you 5 sexy facts about sex that are true and will help you have a better postpartum sex life just knowing about them. Sound good? Cool. Here we go:

1) Sex isn’t a drive, like hunger or thirst.

You’re not going to die if you don’t have sex. It’s an incentive motivation system instead.

Hunger and thirst push you to seek out what you need to not be hungry or thirsty. So when you hear “drive”, think “survive”.

Unlike hunger and thirst, sex pulls you to want it by sexy external stimuli. So really, sex as an “incentive motivation system” as opposed to a drive is a fancy word for “thrive.”

The idea that sex is a drive is important to end because it sends out the message to many women, especially postpartum women, that if sex is a hunger and you never get hungry, then there’s something wrong with you and you’re sick.

Which leads us to sexy fact #2 that shows us why sex as a drive isn’t true:

2) Only 15% of women want sex out of the blue. 30% want it only when something sexual and erotic is already happening. The rest of women experience a mix between this spontaneous and responsive desire depending on the context.

Wow. Did you get that? So basically, the cultural message we’ve been taught is that there’s something wrong with us, we’re not normal, and we’re sick if we don’t experience spontaneous desire (sex out of the blue) yet only 15% of women actually experience that kind of desire.

So guess what? You’re normal if you don’t spontaneously want sex! There’s nothing wrong with that. How you feel about you not wanting it is another thing. And there are ways to improve how you feel about it as well as ways to improve your desire for your partner but that’s the next blog. So, put in your name and email here or anywhere on the website to get notified when that comes out.

3) Orgasm isn’t a genital response and there’s only one type of orgasm.

“OMG, what did you just say?”

Yeah, I said that. Or rather, I didn’t say it, researchers did.

Most people think that orgasm is marked by pelvic floor contractions and that you can have different types of orgasms. But, technically speaking, neither is necessarily true.

According to the science, genital physiological markers of orgasm aren’t always predictive of a woman’s subjective experience of orgasm. So, it isn’t what happens in your genitals, it’s about what happens in your brain.

Which is why orgasm is so hard to explain, just like contractions in birth.

And secondly, orgasm is defined as a sudden release of sexual tension generated in different ways.

So, despite the cultural message that there are a bazillion different “kinds” of orgasms, they’re all the same thing but may feel different depending on where they’re generated.

And if we try to categorize orgasms by how they feel, there’d be a different category for every orgasm a woman has. (This one is new for me too!)

So stop being so hard on yourself if you don’t experience orgasm the way your friends do. Or if not at all. It’s all subjective anyway.

4) Only 30% of women reliably orgasm through penetration alone. 70% sometimes, rarely, or never orgasm from penetration alone.

The most common way for women to orgasm is from clitoral stimulation.

As Freud would have you think, you’re not less of a woman if you’ve never had an orgasm from penetration.

It doesn’t matter how it happens. And making orgasm the goal as opposed to pleasure is a sure-fire way to never have one.

5) Women are only 10% concordant – meaning, only 10% of the time are most women wet and turned on at the same time.

For men, there’s a 50% overlap between blood flow to his genitals and how turned on he feels.

For us women, we can be turned on and not wet and we can be wet and not turned on 90% of the time.

The best way for your partner to tell if you’re aroused and ready for sex is to listen to your words, not look at your genitals.

So, now that I’ve just squashed everything you thought you knew about sex , you’re probably going to start experiencing some resentment, maybe some anger, maybe some frustration over the next week.

I surely did.

Learning all of this had me super angry at a society and culture that only taught me what’s true for VERY FEW women regarding their sexuality.

Regardless, know that learning about your sexuality has a way of bringing up your shit as well as some deep rooted ancestral pain, so be gentle with yourself and know that you are normal, perfect, and whole just as you are right now.

I hope these 5 sexy facts help you to understand that you are normal. If you’re experiencing a postpartum lack of desire, know that you’re not alone and there are ways to get your grove back. I’m going to talk to you about that next week. Stay tuned!

*Most of the facts presented here are from the book, “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski. If this information was fascinating to you, do yourself and your partner a favor and pick up a copy and read it.

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. Don’t forget to sign up with your name and email anywhere on the site to get “How to Have a Rocking Postpartum Sex Life” coming out soon!

What Tantra Taught Me About Birth

What Tantra Taught Me About Birth

Around this time last year, through an interesting series of events, I stumbled upon the practice of tantra.

Many Westerners are clueless about what tantra really is and only associate it with a particular kind of sex.

However, it’s actually an ancient set of tools, practices, and techniques that have to do with feeling the maximum amount of power, beauty, truth and pleasure inside of your body.

And it uses your sexuality to do that.

Through the play of masculine (Shiva) and feminine (Shakti) polarities, tantra empowers you to recognize the truth of who you are rather than asking you be believe someone else’s.

And, let me tell ya, since I’ve been practicing this ancient art, life has not been the same.

To be honest, after I hit my late 20’s, my sex drive went into high gear and I wanted to learn how to harness some of that energy to use for my own creative purposes.

Doing the doula thing and raising my kids required a mediocre amount of creativity, but I knew there was more creative potential I wasn’t tapping into that was available to take my life to new levels.

I wanted to create a business that allowed me financial and location independence doing what I love and having a positive impact in women’s lives by inspiring a revolution in how we do birth.

And I had no idea how to do that.

Then, tantra found me.

And now I’m overflowing with ideas.

So what does tantra have to do with birth? I’ll get to that in a minute.

First, it’s important to understand a bit about tantra before you can understand what it taught me.

One of the biggest concepts behind tantra that’s foreign to our western sex culture is that the focus is on pleasure with no agenda for orgasm or even intercourse.

Yeah, sounds totally foreign to our fast and hard, porn-initiated, focus on HIS pleasure western minds huh?!

Unfortunately, women in our culture are often expected to show up turned on and wanting, in the same way and time frame that men are.

And for a lot of us women, that’s just not how it works.

We need more time, we need eye contact, we need to feel safe and relaxed.

Seeing any similarities with birth yet?

Female turn on is still poorly understood. But, we do know that when men allow space and time to focus on our pleasure with no agenda or expectations, incredible things happen…like, we get turned on!

This is called “holding space,” – a very masculine (Shiva) thing to do.

In tantra, Shiva represents pure consciousness and feminine Shakti represents power.

When Shiva holds space through his consciousness for Shakti to step into her power, according to tantra, the two energies merge and worlds are born.

When women are given the space to use their power to create in their own unique way, amazing things like epic sex, babies, art, music, and ideas are born.

As I’ve learned, this sacred space holding is as important in birthing babies as it is to epic sex.

As a doula, I see it every time a mama is scared, anxious, and excited when her labor begins. Then, things start getting harder and she starts experiencing pain.

I show up, witness her, connect with her, hold space for her, and she calms down, feels safe again, drops her defenses, lets go, and settles into an ecstatic rhythm and ritual.

When I’m properly holding space for a laboring woman, even if she’s experiencing moments of pain, she looks like a goddess and experiences moments of pleasure and ecstasy too.

Something I had been doing in birth without even realizing it, was, in fact, one of the same techniques that men are taught in tantra to allow their woman to experience more pleasure and ecstasy than ever during love making.

This space holding is why women who are highly supported, loved, in a safe and aesthetically pleasing environment who are being witnessed experience PLEASURE in birth!

This is how orgasmic birth happens.

Unbeknownst to me, tantra taught me the importance of holding space for laboring women and that it’s just as vital to an epic and pleasurable birth experience as it is to epic and pleasurable sex.

And the ironic thing is, as a lover of divine feminine, it takes my masculine/Shiva/space holding energy to awaken the divine feminine/Shakti/power in the laboring women I serve.

What a beautiful play of polarities and balance indeed.

We’re always the last to figure out what we’re REALLY doing anyway.

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. If you’re interested in learning more about tantra, my friend and tantrika, Layla Martin, is starting the next round of her Epic Lovers Masterclass July 20, 2016. You can check out this mind-blowing, life-altering, and upper-limits of pleasure breaking class here.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, that testimonial quote about how surprised I was at my typical jeep driving “dude’s” reaction to taking the class was…yeah, that’s me!

p.s.s The Optimal Fetal Positioning series WILL continue next week! With school being out, it’s been difficult to shoot videos with a house full of kids…I’m sure you can relate 🙂

“How can you have a pleasurable or even orgasmic birth?”

“How can you have a pleasurable or even orgasmic birth?”

I spent years avoiding pleasure because I didn’t have the knowledge or tools to get myself through the heartbreak that made pleasure unbearable.

I didn’t feel that I deserved it.

And I was too afraid to feel it for fear of loosing it…again.

Of course, that belief was under the false pretense that pleasure came from something outside of me. And no one told me otherwise.

So I spent years avoiding pleausre.

Nothing about life was sweet, music sounded ok, colors were just colors, and flowers were just flowers. I was not living. I was stuck.

Until one day, I vowed that I’d get myself out of this and find out what it’d take to bring pleasure back into my life and feel truly alive again.

Today, I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments to have turned all that around.

It took a hell a lot of courage I didn’t know I had.

It started with saying yes to my life.

And the first thing I said YES to after becoming single at 27 with a 6 month old and a 3 year old was a next level relationship.

Dating was scary. as. hell.

It took getting curious about what would happen if I let go of attachment and hope for the relationship I wanted with a particular man that wouldn’t say yes.

Then connecting with my desire and what brought me pleasure and focusing instead on that.

Letting go of negative, limited belief systems around pleasure and desire from childhood that no longer served me.

And after meeting my husband, expanding more and more every day into what is even possible when it comes to pleasure and intimacy between two people.

Unfortunately, I had no idea what was possible in the form of pleasure when I birthed my babies.

And even though I’m not having any more, I do know that it’s possible to have pleasurable, even orgasmic birth experiences.

I’ve spent a year and a half expanding the upper limits of pleasure in my body, and breaking through limits of possibility with my partner.

And I’m now feeling more alive than ever.

Sometimes, what I feel in my body scares me whether it’s pain in a particular area or a new sensation. Just like in labor and birth.

But instead of letting the fear and pain get the best of me, the wise woman inside me reminds me that it’s ok to be afraid, you don’t have to shut down.

Stop where you are in the fear, the pain, or the new sensation. Feel into it. Breathe. Move towards it. Lean into it. Slowly. Keep breathing. De-armor. There’s something amazing on the other side of it.

And that’s exactly what I hope for birthing women who are a bit more ahead of me than I was birthing my babies not knowing the possibility for pleasure.

Don’t let the fear and pain of labor and birth shut you down in the process.

Feel into it. Don’t escape it. Stay in your body. Breathe. Lean into it. There is pleasure on the other side of what you’re feeling.

And it will make you laugh uncontrollable.

Or cry in ecstasy.

Or maybe even scream like a wild woman.

It’s possible and I show you how right here in today’s video.

Are you excited at the possibility of having a pleasurable or even orgasmic birth? I’d love to hear from you about where you’re at and how you’re preparing for it.

If you have any burning pregnancy/birth related questions you’d love to ask, send them to lacey@laceybroussard.com and I’ll answer it via vlog in the next few days. You’ll remain anonymous.

With so much love,

Lacey