Has anyone ever rolled their eyes or looked at you funny when you told them you wanted a natural birth?
That’s because we’ve all been brainwashed.
If you’re like me, you’ve been told since you were a little girl that birth is painful and horrible and that you’re going to not only WANT the drugs, but also NEED them.
So, you do what everyone else does and let the doctor handle it.
Unless you’re hardheaded like me and decide from the get-go that it doesn’t have to be that way for you.
Good new is… it doesn’t.
Bad new is… you’re gonna have to put in some time and effort to learn what it takes to reverse the brainwashing and get confident.
If you want to get confident about having an empowering, ecstatic, natural birth, you need to watch the free masterclass I have for you here.
Cause in it, you’ll learn the 6 keys to reclaiming your power and confidence in birth.
Only when you know the “what” and “why”, can you practice the HOW to have the birth experience you’re really wanting.
Check it out here!
With so much love,
p.s. Have you heard I’m hosting a postpartum event soon? If you’re in Lafayette, LA, check it out here
Changing medical providers during pregnancy can feel like a lot of work and hassle.
You’re pregnant, maybe you have other kids already, you might be working and don’t have a lot of time to put into this and honestly, you hate change.
You’re not even sure if changing medical providers will solve the problem you’d like resolved in the first place.
So is it worth the hassle and time?
In today’s video, I give you the top 4 reasons you should consider changing medical providers if you’re wanting a natural, empowering birth experience.
And, one common reason people change medical providers but probably shouldn’t.
Check out the video here!
If you’re not feeling it with your current medical provider, I’ve made a .pdf full of awesome questions to ask a potential medical provider to help you find someone who’s a good fit.
When you ask great questions, you’re much more likely to find and build a birth team that serves you and supports your desire for a natural, empowering birth experience.
Raising the bar for the standard of prenatal care will only happen when YOU require it.
Being passive about a less than ideal provider, thinking, hoping, and wishing that you’ll get the treatment you’re hoping for when you’ve received none of the sorts up till now is wishful thinking.
Don’t let being too busy or feeling like it’s a hassle keep you from finding the better care you deserve.
Pop in your name and email here and I’ll send you the .pdf to get you started along with some other amazing freebies that I only offer via email.
With all my love,
p.s. If you’re still not sure whether you should change providers, let’s chat. I’ve got some time slots available to talk with you and help you get clear about your birth team. Hit reply to this email letting me know and we’ll set up a time for me to call you.
Why is it so hard to find a medical provider to support your desire for a natural, empowering birth?
I meet and talk to so many women who feel that they aren’t supported in having the natural, empowering birth they want simply because their medical provider doesn’t seem 100% on board.
I hate to brake it to you mama’s, but what you’re missing is that if you’ve hired a doctor to be your medical provider for the natural, empowering birth you want and you’re not feeling supported, you’ve hired the wrong person.
It’s that simple.
You need to find someone else.
I totally understand why you might be hesitant to change providers though. Let me guess your reasons:
1) Your partner, family and/or friends would think you’re crazy for wanting to hire a midwife and have a homebirth or birth center birth and you’d rather not deal with the flack
I want to tell you something very important: YOU are the only one that has to birth YOUR baby ever. Not anyone else. Not your partner, not your mama, not your sister, not your best friend.
This is your body and baby that you have to care for in the way that is right for you, not the way that’s right for anyone else.
YOU are the only expert on your body. Not even a doctor, a midwife or a doula will know your body better than you unless you don’t want to know it yourself.
If you’re holding back on entertaining the idea of having a home birth or birth center birth simply because you feel like it will be a hassle to get your family and friends on board, you need to stop right now and go call one.
Not calling and talking to a provider that you KNOW would be a better fit for you is like having a winning lottery ticket and not cashing it in.
Don’t hesitate any more because you’re worried about getting everyone else on board. That stuff WILL work itself out in due time.
Right now, you have to stand up for you and what’s right for you and your baby. You are NOT being selfish for wanting a natural, empowering birth with a midwife at home or in a birth center.
You have the desire for a natural, empowering birth for a reason. If you trust your intuition and desire and go with it, things will work out for the best for everyone involved.
Leaning into your divine desire is never selfish!
2) Money. You’re with your medical provider simply because your insurance covers the cost of the visits. You don’t think you’ll find anyone else in-network that’s any better, or you don’t think you can afford a midwife
Using money as an excuse is the easiest thing anyone has ever done, like ever! Trust me, I know.
I’ve done it for years and still continue to catch that pattern from time to time. It’s so easy because everyone accepts it and understands.
But, is using money as an excuse to not have the birth you dream of ok with you?
I’m sure most of you would say “no” and understand that you will likely go on to have a hospital birth with a semi-supportive doctor simply because money really is a very real issue. I totally understand that and feel for you.
For some of you though, money might not be as much of an issue as you think simply because you don’t realize how cost effective midwives are or because you haven’t actually done the homework to find a doctor in-network that’s a better fit.
The average cost of a midwife is between $2-3,000. Come on Mama’s, $2-3,000!
The average cost of a wedding in the USofA is $26,444!
AND…most midwives accept payment plans. And even some accept insurance!
If you’re holding back on the midwife route because of money, please contact a local midwife to see if you can work something out. It’s probably not as big a deal as you think.
If finding a midwife isn’t your thing and you haven’t contacted any other doctors in-network with your insurance, you need to get started by asking questions – specifically, the questions I give you in my new .pdf to Build Your Dream Birth Team.
In the .pdf, I give you questions to ask doctors, midwives and doulas so you can build a birth team that truly supports you. You can get a copy of that here.
3) You’re not 100% committed to having a natural birth even though you say you want one.
Women have at least as many reasons for wanting a natural birth as they have pairs of shoes in the closet.
But, there’s a HUGE difference between wanting a natural birth and getting one. The bridge to that gap is commitment.
In my practice, I find that for the mama’s that aren’t committed, nearly 90% of them end up with a medicated birth.
But those who are committed, about 80% of them end up with a natural birth.
When you’re committed to doing something one way or another, you’re going to put in the work to get it and people are much more likely to support you when you’re not being wishy-washy about what you want.
When you’re not committed and wishy-washy, it makes putting in the work feel like hell – so you don’t!
Wanting and having a natural birth takes a lot of planning, preparing and learning.
You can get a medicated birth without planning, preparing or learning anything. Easy.
But, having a natural birth isn’t the norm in our society and so it takes work to go against the norm and do it.
When you’re committed, it makes doing the work enjoyable and fun rather than just another thing you have to do. Who wants that anyway? Eww.
If you’re not sure about your commitment level, I encourage you to decide asap because knowing what you want is half the battle to getting it.
So…if you are not feeling totally supported by your current medical provider to have the natural, empowering birth that you desire, download your free .pdf of Questions to Ask to Build Your Dream Birth Team right here.
You’ll feel sooooo relieved to find someone who truly supports you.
With so much love,
p.s. Craving some support and encouragement from other like-minded women wanting a natural, empowering birth? Download your .pdf and you’ll automatically be a part of the Empowered Birth Revolutionaries Email Tribe where you’ll get access to stuff I only offer via e-mail.
p.s.s. If you’re local (in Lafayette, LA) and are having trouble building a birth team that supports your desires, email me your struggles and let’s see how I can help you!
Not having a choice… It’s by far one of the most excruciating feelings ever. Like for real. It’s like your freedom being taken away only for disappointment to take its place… Ouch!
I’ve felt that way multiple times in my life from simple shit like buying that PERFECT dress and they’re all out of your size, to purchasing your dream house and it gets bought up right underneath you, all the way to choosing to love who you want to love and then they disappear.
So much of our experience is determined by the options available to us. So what do we do when what we want is no longer an option?
I often hear women say they feel powerless in birth because someone told them they don’t have a choice or that they have no other options. Here are some of the scenarios they give…
I have a breech baby.
I have twins.
They’ll only “let me” do a c-section.
Or, I have pre-eclampsia.
I have high blood pressure.
I have gestational diabetes.
They’re “making me” get induced.
Well, I’m here to tell you that, first of all, no one can “make you” do anything one way or the other in your birth so you ALWAYS have the option of not doing what’s suggested which means you ALWAYS have a choice.
There are options and then there are choices and when it comes to birth or anything in life in general, it’s super important to learn the difference between the 2 and how they relate.
So here it is:
An option is a noun and means all the possibilities available to you.
To choose is a verb. And it means to pick out from the possibilities available to you.
So as long as you have an option of doing something or doing nothing, you have a choice too.
The ugly thing is (and a common reason women get upset and disappointed with their birth experience) is because they have a problem with the options available to them. If what they really want is no longer available, they get bummed because they just don’t like the options that are left if they feel they have any at all.
So how do you make an empowering choice for your birth when you don’t like your available options?
1) Write down a list of ALL your options no matter how ridiculous, insane, or absurd they sound. This is a no-excuses, no holds barred game so get rid of the “I don’t have the time”, “I don’t have the money”, “I don’t have the guts for that” and lay it all out unfiltered.
Let go of judgment and just write as fast as you can every option you can possibly think of without filtering through the “but that’s crazy, I could never do that” filter. When you don’t filter your answers, you’re more likely to find a nugget-o-gold in there somewhere.
2) For each option available, ask yourself the following questions:
B – What are the benefits of this option?
R – What are the risks of this option?
A – Are there any alternatives to this option?
I – What does your intuition tell you about this option?
N – What happens if you do nothing and revisit the matter later?
3) Make a choice based on facts, not emotions.
When you base your choice on facts and not emotions, you open up yourself to empowerment. And that’s what empowered birth is about…letting go of a specific who, what, when, where, why, how and focusing instead on how you want to feel through it.
Do you want to feel supported, loved, cared for like a queen or goddess, empowered, or healed through your birth experience? Or do you want it to happen a certain way?
When you let go of the certain way and focus on how you want to feel through it, you let go of attachment to an outcome and allow birth to happen for you not to you.
Using the B.R.A.I.N. acronym is a process of inquiry that I give my clients for those tricky births where unplanned and/or unexpected events happen because it helps you see that you really do have options even if what you really want is no longer available.
This process of inquiry helps you let go of the “how things are supposed to happen” and move forward in an empowering way regardless.
Have you been in a situation where you where told that you don’t have a choice as to how to birth your baby and you chose something different anyway? How did you come to the decision to go against the grain and take back your options and choose differently instead? Let us know in the comments below.
With so much love,
Did you choose your medical provider simply because your OB was your GYN or because you got a recommendation from your friends?
A lot of us end up with the OB that we have simply because of what I call a default transfer of care – meaning you already have a relationship with your GYN so why the heck not for OB care too?
Well, the problem with that is that you may share the same values with your GYN when it comes to GYN care, but that DOES NOT automatically mean that you’ll share the same values when it comes to birth.
Personally, I have a GYN that I love because we share the same well-women care values, but honestly, I wouldn’t use her as an OB because I know there are OB’s out there in better alignment with my values on birth.
One of the most common questions that I get asked is “Does it really matter if my doctor is supportive of my birth choices if I’m well educated about birth and I’m hiring a doula?”
Yes, it really matters!
Here’s why you need a supportive medical provider for your birth – one that shares similar values on birth as you:
1) You’re setting yourself up for confrontation in what should be a highly sacred situation if you don’t share the same values or at least get on the same page with your medical provider.
If you’re the type of women that can be fiercely protective, you might find it easy to ward off anyone trying to do anything to you that you’re not ok with.
Personally, I’m that way but most women take a bit more of a passive approach to confrontation. And in the birth room, this isn’t something you’re going to want to have to deal with if you have a doctor explaining all the reasons you “should” get an episiotomy and deep down you are so not ok with it.
Not only does this become a confrontation of wills but…
2) You increase your chances of giving into something you don’t necessarily want because someone disagrees with you
It’s really hard to get into a disagreement or even an argument and even harder to pull out some facts on your iPad when you’re in the middle of pushing your baby out.
So, it’s a lot easier to just give-in and not even start the battle because you can’t physically put up a fight. And even if you could…
3) Your neo-cortex isn’t working all that well in labor and birth and it’s difficult to speak up for yourself in a logical manner and state your case
Your opinions in the middle of labor will be very clear-cut. You can’t think logically or rationally so everything becomes very black and white making your speech and debate skills quite useless.
You’re in your body and your brain can’t think that well so all you can really do is bark out orders and answer yes and no questions.
Having a debate with your doctor isn’t a situation you want to put yourself in if you can at all avoid it. So if you can’t state your argument, your doctor’s gonna do what your doctor’s gonna do…
4) You can have a doula and your partner there to help protect you but ultimately it’s your job to protect yourself by being proactive and only inviting supportive people onto your birth team
You want your space protected. You hire a doula for that and tell your partner what to do if certain situations or confrontations arise with the doctor.
They can sure be helpful and possibly prevent something that you weren’t ok with from happening. But I bet that one thing you don’t want happening is confrontation during your birth experience and the only way to prevent that is to make sure you and your doctor are on the same page beforehand.
So how do you find a doctor that supports your natural birth wishes?
First, you don’t partake in “default transfers of care”, you INTENTIONALLY CHOOSE your doctor instead.
The best way to do this is to get recommendations from friends who’ve had similar birth experiences as you’d like and then set up interview appointments with the doctors that seem to be a good fit.
You get prepared and bring a list of questions beforehand to the visit and interview them like you would an employee for a job! It’s as easy as that.
You’re hiring your medical provider to care for you in the way that is important to you. It’s not the other way around.
Taking the proactive approach of hiring a supportive medical provider can make all the difference in the world for your birth. You need to hire someone in alignment with your values to help you achieve the birth that you envision even if you hire a doula and know a lot about birth too.
Have you experienced a transfer of medical care in the middle or end of pregnancy because you realized your medical provider didn’t share the same values as you (like you wanted a natural birth and somewhere along the way you realized your doctor didn’t support it like you thought)?
Share with us in the comments below what it was like to have to transfer care and if you were happy doing so. Do you feel that you had a better birth experience because you transferred care to someone more in alignment with your birth values?
With so much love,
You know when you get to your OB’s office, you sit down, start flipping through your phone, wait some more, maybe even pick up a magazine. (Wait, who does that anymore?)
And then the Price Is Right comes on – The ultimate indication that you are out of patience and you’re about to blow up on somebody’s mama for not calling you in sooner.
Finally your name is called! You see the nurse. Wait some more.
Then the OB comes in for a total of 5 minutes. And now you’re pissed you just spent 2.5 hours away from work for that.
5 minutes is the typical amount of time you communicate with your OB per appointment.