Changing medical providers during pregnancy can feel like a lot of work and hassle.
You’re pregnant, maybe you have other kids already, you might be working and don’t have a lot of time to put into this and honestly, you hate change.
You’re not even sure if changing medical providers will solve the problem you’d like resolved in the first place.
So is it worth the hassle and time?
In today’s video, I give you the top 4 reasons you should consider changing medical providers if you’re wanting a natural, empowering birth experience.
And, one common reason people change medical providers but probably shouldn’t.
Check out the video here!
If you’re not feeling it with your current medical provider, I’ve made a .pdf full of awesome questions to ask a potential medical provider to help you find someone who’s a good fit.
When you ask great questions, you’re much more likely to find and build a birth team that serves you and supports your desire for a natural, empowering birth experience.
Raising the bar for the standard of prenatal care will only happen when YOU require it.
Being passive about a less than ideal provider, thinking, hoping, and wishing that you’ll get the treatment you’re hoping for when you’ve received none of the sorts up till now is wishful thinking.
Don’t let being too busy or feeling like it’s a hassle keep you from finding the better care you deserve.
Pop in your name and email here and I’ll send you the .pdf to get you started along with some other amazing freebies that I only offer via email.
With all my love,
p.s. If you’re still not sure whether you should change providers, let’s chat. I’ve got some time slots available to talk with you and help you get clear about your birth team. Hit reply to this email letting me know and we’ll set up a time for me to call you.
A common question to those of you who’ve had a less than stellar past birth experience.
Do you live vicariously through other mama’s going for the natural, empowering birth that you want?
Do you try your best to inform other mama’s in ways that you weren’t?
Do you keep having babies until you get it?
Many of you have had to put on your big girl pants and suck it up, deal, and eventually accept your less than ideal birth experience simply because you were never taught how birth can be empowering even if it doesn’t go as planned.
But, if you want another baby, how do you find within yourself to let the past go and keep aiming for that natural, empowering, healing birth anyway without feeling that you’re going to self-sabatoge your experience?
Will you ever get it? Can you ever get it?
Today, I’m giving you my answer to that common question in the video here.
As I speak with many women about their birth experiences, I’m often asked the same questions from expecting mama’s.
Over the next few weeks, I’m tackling them one at a time by taking your questions specifically and giving you answers to the most common ones.
If you have a burning Q that you’d like an A to from an experienced doula who’s talked with hundreds of mama’s about their birth experiences, email me you question to email@example.com.
Please note that your name will remain completely anonymous if your question is chosen, and I’ll dedicate an entire vlog to answering it. Your questions help empower all of us so don’t be shy and ask anyway!
If you’re not already a part of the Empowered Birth Revolutionaries Email Tribe, you can sign up here to receive updates of new vlog and blog posts, and you’ll also receive many free goodies, video training series’, and free practical/useful .pdf’s that I only offer via email. Sign up here.
With all my love,
p.s. The Empowered Birth Online Class is kicking off soon and ready to roll! If you’re due between July and October 2016, NOW is the time to sign up! Many bonuses coming your way (think essential oils, chiropractic care, and vbac info galore!) Click here to check it out and register!
Why is it so hard to find a medical provider to support your desire for a natural, empowering birth?
I meet and talk to so many women who feel that they aren’t supported in having the natural, empowering birth they want simply because their medical provider doesn’t seem 100% on board.
I hate to brake it to you mama’s, but what you’re missing is that if you’ve hired a doctor to be your medical provider for the natural, empowering birth you want and you’re not feeling supported, you’ve hired the wrong person.
It’s that simple.
You need to find someone else.
I totally understand why you might be hesitant to change providers though. Let me guess your reasons:
1) Your partner, family and/or friends would think you’re crazy for wanting to hire a midwife and have a homebirth or birth center birth and you’d rather not deal with the flack
I want to tell you something very important: YOU are the only one that has to birth YOUR baby ever. Not anyone else. Not your partner, not your mama, not your sister, not your best friend.
This is your body and baby that you have to care for in the way that is right for you, not the way that’s right for anyone else.
YOU are the only expert on your body. Not even a doctor, a midwife or a doula will know your body better than you unless you don’t want to know it yourself.
If you’re holding back on entertaining the idea of having a home birth or birth center birth simply because you feel like it will be a hassle to get your family and friends on board, you need to stop right now and go call one.
Not calling and talking to a provider that you KNOW would be a better fit for you is like having a winning lottery ticket and not cashing it in.
Don’t hesitate any more because you’re worried about getting everyone else on board. That stuff WILL work itself out in due time.
Right now, you have to stand up for you and what’s right for you and your baby. You are NOT being selfish for wanting a natural, empowering birth with a midwife at home or in a birth center.
You have the desire for a natural, empowering birth for a reason. If you trust your intuition and desire and go with it, things will work out for the best for everyone involved.
Leaning into your divine desire is never selfish!
2) Money. You’re with your medical provider simply because your insurance covers the cost of the visits. You don’t think you’ll find anyone else in-network that’s any better, or you don’t think you can afford a midwife
Using money as an excuse is the easiest thing anyone has ever done, like ever! Trust me, I know.
I’ve done it for years and still continue to catch that pattern from time to time. It’s so easy because everyone accepts it and understands.
But, is using money as an excuse to not have the birth you dream of ok with you?
I’m sure most of you would say “no” and understand that you will likely go on to have a hospital birth with a semi-supportive doctor simply because money really is a very real issue. I totally understand that and feel for you.
For some of you though, money might not be as much of an issue as you think simply because you don’t realize how cost effective midwives are or because you haven’t actually done the homework to find a doctor in-network that’s a better fit.
The average cost of a midwife is between $2-3,000. Come on Mama’s, $2-3,000!
The average cost of a wedding in the USofA is $26,444!
AND…most midwives accept payment plans. And even some accept insurance!
If you’re holding back on the midwife route because of money, please contact a local midwife to see if you can work something out. It’s probably not as big a deal as you think.
If finding a midwife isn’t your thing and you haven’t contacted any other doctors in-network with your insurance, you need to get started by asking questions – specifically, the questions I give you in my new .pdf to Build Your Dream Birth Team.
In the .pdf, I give you questions to ask doctors, midwives and doulas so you can build a birth team that truly supports you. You can get a copy of that here.
3) You’re not 100% committed to having a natural birth even though you say you want one.
Women have at least as many reasons for wanting a natural birth as they have pairs of shoes in the closet.
But, there’s a HUGE difference between wanting a natural birth and getting one. The bridge to that gap is commitment.
In my practice, I find that for the mama’s that aren’t committed, nearly 90% of them end up with a medicated birth.
But those who are committed, about 80% of them end up with a natural birth.
When you’re committed to doing something one way or another, you’re going to put in the work to get it and people are much more likely to support you when you’re not being wishy-washy about what you want.
When you’re not committed and wishy-washy, it makes putting in the work feel like hell – so you don’t!
Wanting and having a natural birth takes a lot of planning, preparing and learning.
You can get a medicated birth without planning, preparing or learning anything. Easy.
But, having a natural birth isn’t the norm in our society and so it takes work to go against the norm and do it.
When you’re committed, it makes doing the work enjoyable and fun rather than just another thing you have to do. Who wants that anyway? Eww.
If you’re not sure about your commitment level, I encourage you to decide asap because knowing what you want is half the battle to getting it.
So…if you are not feeling totally supported by your current medical provider to have the natural, empowering birth that you desire, download your free .pdf of Questions to Ask to Build Your Dream Birth Team right here.
You’ll feel sooooo relieved to find someone who truly supports you.
With so much love,
p.s. Craving some support and encouragement from other like-minded women wanting a natural, empowering birth? Download your .pdf and you’ll automatically be a part of the Empowered Birth Revolutionaries Email Tribe where you’ll get access to stuff I only offer via e-mail.
p.s.s. If you’re local (in Lafayette, LA) and are having trouble building a birth team that supports your desires, email me your struggles and let’s see how I can help you!
I’ll bet the first thing you want to know when you go to your first doctor visit is your due date…if you haven’t already googled it.
And it’s definetly the first thing your friends and family want to know when you tell them the news.
It’s even the first question I want answered when someone tells me they’re interested in hiring me as their doula.
Most of us are obsessed with due dates.
And I can say ‘obsessed’ in all accuracy because most OB’s and the patients they care for are a bit more than willing to schedule an induction or c-section ON THEIR DUE DATE than they probably should be.
It’s kinda scary so many people do this, really – considering how “off” some people’s due dates have been found to be.
So with all the obsession and controversy, I know it’d be nice to have some of your fears around ‘due dates’ alleviated since everyone makes such a huge deal out of them.
Before I can help you though, let’s find out just HOW obsessed you really are with due dates yourself.
Answer yes or no to the following questions and tally up your “Yes’s”:
1) When someone asks you when you’re due, do you tell them the exact date – day and month?
2) When your friend or family member turns up pregnant, is your first question “So when are you due?” Add another point if you EXPECT them to tell you a month AND day?
3) If you have a friend or family member that never reveals an exact date, just a month timeframe, per se, does it totally irritate you?
4) Have you spent more than 10 minutes trying to figure out an exact due date on online due date calculators?
5) Have you changed your due date more than once?
6) Do you know the date of your Last Menstrual Period?
7) Do you worry about going “overdue”?
If you answered YES to 5 or more of these questions, you’re totally obsessed with your due date – probably just like everyone else who took this quiz.
No worries though. I’m gonna help you get over this obsession by alleviating some fears around due dates based on really bad science.
Let me make it clear: a due date can only EVER BE an estimated guess date because there are so many factors that should be taken into account that aren’t such as cycle length, when you ovulate, the day you conceived, if you’re a first-time mama or not, race, age, etc...
Turns out, there are several ways to calculate due dates:
- Doctors use Naegele’s Rule to give you a due date. It’s calculated by taking the date of your last menstrual period, adding one year, subtracting 3 months and then adding 7 days to that. Sound like accurate science to you? Hmmm….
It doesn’t even account for your unique cycle length or the fact that you might not ovulate on the date that Naegele’s rule assumes (day 14 of your cycle, btw).
- Then there’s the Mittendorf-Williams Rule that takes into account more factors like number of previous births, age and race. It also says that the average gestation for a first-time mama is actually 41 weeks and 1 day, and for a multipara mama, 40 weeks and 3 days. But this method is hardly ever used.
- And to add to the mix of calculating due dates, now there are ultrasound dates that you can go by that get more and more inaccurate as your pregnancy goes on leaving you to wonder if they were ever accurate in the first place.
Even if you’re the most loyal cycle tracker, you can never REALLY know your due date since there’s still debate on the average gestation time and how to calculate it in the first place…it’s all simply an estimate and that’s all it ever needs to be.
We’re obsessed with due dates because the human mind seeks for something to count on and plan on. Once it gets a date in mind, it can relax. But does it really help you relax when you go a day past your due date, or a week, or even two? Probably not.
Here’s an idea: instead of giving your mind a due date to fixate on, give it a guess time frame instead.
So instead of your baby being due April 29th, tell yourself and everyone else that you’re guessing your baby will be here towards the end of April or early May.
Or, instead of June 20 (the first day of Summer), tell yourself and everyone else that you’re guessing your baby will be here at the beginning of Summer.
And for goddess’ sake, quite perpetuating the obsession by asking your family and friends their due date! [Guilty as charged] You can ask for a guess time frame instead.
Every pregnancy is unique and the best thing you can do is to cut yourself some slack as opposed to creating rigid barriers and timelines.
Gestating a baby isn’t like paying your credit card bill. You’re not going to get a big-ole fine for not having your baby on a particular day.
This thinking is outdated and over masculinized. Having a baby isn’t about production… or else.
It’s about recognizing that birth is fluid, highly varying, and unpredictable. It’s feminine energy to the max. Not fixed, rigid, structured.
If you want to get over your due date obsession, take your ‘due date’ and throw it out the window. It was only ever a guess anyway – bad science to the max.
With so much love,