Why your kids need you radiant, vibrant, and…sensual

Why your kids need you radiant, vibrant, and…sensual

As a mother these days, it’s assumed that we’re depleted, turned-off, stressed-out, depressed, and anything but radiant.

Because we’re raised to believe that motherhood=martyrdom.

We have so few examples of what a radiant, alive, vibrant, and sensually embodied mother actually looks like.

Because, for the most part, all we see and know about mothers is that they’re over-worked, under paid, under slept, and unhappy with their relationships, careers, and lives in general.

What is up with that?

Why are we perpetuating a model of motherhood that assumes we are to give up our hopes, dreams, and pleasures (aka our radiance, vitality, and sensuality) in exchange for raising children?

A model that to ‘make it as a woman’ means that you have to disconnect from your emotions, hide your vulnerability, learn to be aggressive, completely separate work life from home life, and rely on logic, intellect, competition, striving and pushing to make it.

A model that worked in the 1950’s but does no longer.

It’s no wonder that we loose our radiance, our turn-on, our sexiness, our spark, and our aliveness after having kids when all we know is how to go through life the way that most of our male counterparts do.

The great news is, more mothers than ever are working from home, starting internet-based businesses and…succeeding (!!!) with newborn or toddler in tote.

But, the truth is…any radiant, alive, and vibrant mama that looks like she’s doing it all – isn’t. And that’s her secret.

Here’s the thing – you want more without having to do more because you’ve been doing more your entire life and you’re tired.

I get it.

That’s why I’m here to tell you that you weren’t meant to do it all. You weren’t designed to be the sole provider of love, support, and care-giving to your children.

Inherently, we are a tribal species that’s meant to utilize the love and support of other women in the tribe to make it through child-rearing while growing older gracefully.

Since we don’t live in tribal societies anymore, many of us have lost touch with what it means to share care-giving responsibilities and to maintain balance, harmony, and radiance in our lives.

What we don’t realize is that by perpetuating this unsustainable 1950’s model of motherhood, we’re denying ourselves self-care, self-pleasure, and in-turn our radiance, aliveness, and sensuality.

And we’re slowing dying inside disowning and even cutting off the part of us that keeps us alive and vibrant in the first place.

The thing is, your kids don’t need you to do more for them. They need you to be present with them, in a radiant, alive and vibrant way, not a stressed out, turned-off or emotionally unavailable way.

Your kids need you radiant, alive, and connected to your sensuality so you spare them the thinking that they too have to sacrifice their health, their vitality, and their radiance if they choose to be mothers too.

They need you to be an example of what true radiance is.

Radiance isn’t about outward beauty.

It’s an ageless beauty that comes from within you. It’s a light that can’t be turned off or even dimmed with the accumulation of years, it’s what keeps you alive and vibrant and connected to your sensuality well into your 80’s or even 90’s….

Your kids need you more inwardly radiant, more self-loving and accepting of others.

Not outwardly beautiful.

Guess what, that boob job or botox treatment you’re thinking about getting won’t do the trick. Because that’s not radiance.

Your kids need you radiating and connecting to the light within you, the part of you that’s ageless, the part of you that consults your inner wisdom and follows your gut, the part of you that doesn’t settle and that lives a balanced, harmonious, and well-lived life.

What’s getting in the way of you connecting with this part of yourself? Do you not allow time for yourself? Do you put yourself and your own needs last while you care for the kids day-in and day-out while your husband goes to work everyday? Are you denying yourself self-care and pleasure?

You don’t have to loose yourself to motherhood anymore like the women who came before us did just to ‘make it as a women’.

There’s another way, a new model, a new paradigm and it starts with you saying “Yes, I want THAT!”

If you need some support finding your way and navigating real-life circumstantial changes that will support you waking up to your own radiance, be sure to sign up for my newsletter by typing in your name and email anywhere on the website to be the first to know when I start offering one-on-one coaching packages. Coming soon!

With so much love,

Lacey

 

 

 

 

How to feel more normal down there: For when the doc didn’t help…

How to feel more normal down there: For when the doc didn’t help…

Since having kids, has sex felt numb, disconnected, or even painful for you? Did you have a traumatic or painful birth experience that you feel is affecting your sex life?

If so, you’re so not alone.

Many mama’s are completely unconscious of numbness, disconnection or sexual pain…

While others are conscious but are sucking it up because they have no one to talk to about it.

There are so few resources to help a women restore her sexual functioning after birth…

And even if you aren’t one of the 33% of women that experiences birth trauma,

you might very well be a victim of sexual abuse or you might have grown up with a lot of religious guilt and shame around your sexuality.

If any of these apply, you’re probably walking around with a very tense, stressed out, or even traumatized vagina.

Because, the vagina holds onto tension, stress, and trauma like a sponge does to water.

What many people don’t realize is that the postpartum period has a way of stirring up the pot and bringing up unhealed parts of us to the surface.

The point is to look at them, do something about them, and ultimately, become better mothers.

Divine design, if you ask me…

So, where do you turn for help?

First off, if you’re experiencing pain, it’s important to rule out any medical conditions you might not be aware of first with your doc.

If something is medically wrong, your doc should be able to help you or at least refer you to a pelvic floor physical therapist.

And, let me tell ya, they are amazing!

If you see one, you can expect an expert evaluation and for them to provide practices and exercises tailored specifically for your healing.

If you’ve experienced birth trauma of some sort, your doctor will probably refer you to a therapist.

But, there are very few therapists that have any experience with birth trauma and no one is going to refer you to anyone to deal with your religious guilt and shame around your sexuality.

And while many women who seek treatment from a therapist experience great results, others find talk therapy very inadequate because it only works on the level of the mind, not the body where the tension, stress, and trauma are stored.

Because to heal pain that’s sourced from tension, stress, and trauma, you have to heal the place where it’s stored (the body) too…

which is why yoga is such a big deal these days.

So, for the mama’s who find your doctor’s advice to “do kegels” or “use extra lube” very inadequate,

Because there’s nothing medically wrong with you and the therapy didn’t help…

What if I told you that there was a way to heal yourself from emotional trauma, tension, numbness, and pain with the touch of your trusting and caring partners’ hand?

In that case, today I want to tell you about an amazing practice that can have you feeling better than normal down there if the doctor or therapist didn’t help.

Having had the good fortune to study and learn about healing traditions from around the world…

One healing practice that can help you feel better than normal down there is called yoni massage, or pussy massage if you’re not familiar with the Sanskrit term “yoni.”

Yoni (pronounced yo-nee) simply means “source of life” or “sacred space.”

Yoni massage is intimate and sensual (not sexual) and works on the physical, emotional and mental levels to transform how you feel about yourself and your sexual well-being.

The great thing about this practice is that even though it’s super old and comes from the tantric tradition…

when taught in context for restoring postpartum sexual health and releasing tension, stress, and trauma in the vagina, the practice is totally relevant, adequate, and effective regardless of your spiritual or religious background.

Because yoni massage is a dedicated healing practice, if you’ve experienced a traumatic birth, sexual abuse, or religious guilt and shame, often, yoni massage will help you release sexual blockages and any association of your sexuality with the trauma.

But, it requires the good intention, presence, and communication of a willing and able giver (your partner), and trust, surrender, and detachment from any outcome from you, the receiver.

The practice starts with preparation of creating a romantic and sensual environment and inviting healing energies into the room.

Once you have done this you will start breathing together and eye gazing to connect the two of you at the heart level,

Then the giver will awaken your senses, and finally, massage around the vulva, inside the vagina and around the cervix.

This is a very vulnerable practice.

But, done with the trust of a skilled partner holding you and giving you space and time to release tension and trauma stored in your pelvis (just like when you receive a neck and shoulder massage but way deeper),

the more you do this practice, the more tension and emotional trauma will release allowing you to feel less numb and normal again.

In fact, you’ll probably feel better than normal…

If you’re interested in learning with your partner how to do yoni massage to release tension, stress, numbness, or trauma so you can feel normal again down there, I’ve got w-a-y more for you.

Simply email me at lacey@laceybroussard.com and we’ll talk about how I can support you in that. (no worries, your privacy is totally protected when you email me).

With so much love,

Lacey

Deepen your relationship with this simple intimacy practice for couples

Deepen your relationship with this simple intimacy practice for couples

Two-thirds of couples report a decline in relationship satisfaction within 3 years of having a baby.

It’s not because of the baby, of course, but because couples often don’t know how to keep the intimacy and connection alive with the baby too.

I don’t blame them.

Our society expects couples to be happy after having a baby but gives them no tools or practices to support and withstand the ebb and flow of life transitions.

And it also puts a harsh distinction on what desires are ‘right and wrong’ to have, how sexy mothers can or can’t be, how often is often enough to have sex, etc…

So a sexuality that isn’t perceived as ‘acceptable’ or ‘normal’ gets shoved down and isn’t shared or expressed within the relationship…along with desire.

And all this does is drive us further from each other seeking satisfaction and fulfillment from external sources.

Hello shopping, porn, cheating, alcohol and other various forms of addiction…

All because we cut off parts of ourselves that we don’t want to share because…shame & guilt.

But it’s within loving these parts of us and sharing them that the shame and guilt dissolve and transform back into the love.

And that process of opening up and sharing is where most of us get blocked and the relationship starts going downhill.

So, whether you have an infant, baby, toddler, teenager, or young adult, this intimacy practice is for those of you couples that either

1) just had a baby and want to keep the intimacy alive even though you’re not ready for sex

2) aren’t intimately satisfied with sex alone

3) haven’t had sex in a while and you don’t know how to break the ice or

4) you simply want to deepen your relationship with your partner.

Whatever degree of intimacy you experience in your relationship, the following practice is sure to break the ice and help the two of you open up, deepen, and come back to love:

The practice is called “Fears, loves & desires”

This is a verbal sharing practice that’s super simple when you get the hang of it. It allows you to let your partner know what’s really going on inside of you without the need to discuss or fix anything. It’s also great for teaching each other how to ‘hold space’ for one another.

The best thing about this practice is that it takes away the power struggle, sets aside the hurt feelings and creates a safe container to truly listen, be present with each other and connect instead of taking everything personally.

By creating a safe container to share honestly with each other without feeling like you’ll be blamed, he’ll get upset and try to fix everything, you’ll be practicing how to sit with each others’ emotions and feelings no matter what they are instead of feeling constantly judged as ‘right or wrong’ for feeling what you’re feeling.

To do the practice, one of you will ask the question and the other will answer and then you’ll switch, going until you’ve completed the 3 questions.

If you’re the one asking the questions, it’s super important and vital to not reply, comment, offer a suggestion, or argue about anything the person answering the questions is saying.

It’s only vital that you stay present with what the person answering is saying, hold space for them and listen. The best way to do this is to set a timer for 2 minutes for each question that’s asked to the partner.

If there’s a pause from the person answering, the person asking the question says, “Thank you” and asks the question again.

Start with the man asking you the question, “What do you really want?” When a natural pause happens, the man says, “Thank you” and asks “What do you really want?” again, giving you time to respond until the 2 minutes is up.

When your time for answering the question is up, you ask the man the question, “What do you really want?” repeating after a natural pause, “Thank you. What do you really want?” until his 2 minutes are up.

The most important thing to remember is to not change the question and to not have a conversation. Doing so breaks the safe container of the practice so be sure not engage in any dialog.

The next question to ask is, “What are you afraid of?” Repeating the same process as above.

Once the two of you have asked the question, “What are you afraid of?” and given each partner 2 minutes to answer each, the last question to ask is:

“What do you love about me?”

After you’ve completed the practice, you’ll most likely feel super connected to each other in a way that you might not have ever been before.

The more honest and uncensored you are in your answers, the more potent this intimacy building practice will be in connecting the two of you.

So, go share this with your partner now, get out the timer, start the practice, and tell me how it goes!

If you’ve got questions about how to initiate the practice or have additional questions about how to perform the practice, I’d love if you emailed me personally at lacey@laceybroussard.com so I can further support you in that.

Also, be sure to sign up with your name and email anywhere on the website to get tons of other sex, love and relationship goodness delivered right to your inbox.

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. With the turn of the new year, I’m super excited to announce that I am currently training with The Institute of Integrated Sexuality to become a certified sex, love and relationship coach. If this sort of content lights you up, be sure to sign up for my email list to get notified when private coaching packages will be available and to get other juicy content delivered straight to your inbox NOW!