Are Doulas Just for Hippies?

Are Doulas Just for Hippies?

I remember the first time someone asked me if doulas were only for people who wanted to have their babies in the forest.

Poor dude was trying to strike a conversation with me during my single days

But…it didn’t work.

I’m a pretty decent flirter, but when he said that…

I had no idea where to start.

First of all, he didn’t look like he had any kids.

I mean, how do you go about explaining emotional and physical labor support to someone that’s obviously never been there/never gonna go there?

It was too much. So I spared myself the trouble, stood up and left.

Seems I can’t escape it though cause, in reality, I get this question in some form or the other from many of my client’s well-intentioned but clueless mother’s, mother-in-law’s, or partner’s.

Like, all the time.

They have no idea why their strong, successful, independent daughter or partner would wanna hire some hippie doula to be at her birth.

I mean, after all, why isn’t mama or husband enough support?

And so, often, the well-intentioned but clueless family vets about hiring the hippie doula the entire pregnancy.

You see, when I was pregnant and starting to learn about natural birth and how you can optimize your chances of having one with a professional doula, it made sense to me…

But for a lot of people a generation behind me

And a lot of well-intentioned but clueless men

Doulas = woo woo crystal-loving hippie ladies that tell mamas how to have their babies in the forest instead of the hospital.

I get that people don’t understand what doulas do or why you’d ever want one

because somewhere along the line, doulas got a bad rap for being rebellious, ill-mannered, full of drama, and too woo for anyone’s good.

That’s simply not true.

Having a doula is a lot like having a sister that knows a lot more about pregnancy and birth than your actual sister or mother does.

And is professionally trained and certified in how to support you both emotionally and physically through the process.

Without judgment or a hidden agenda.

And most of the time without fairy dust or a magic wand.

But without the sort of emotional attachment that will let you cave at the first sign of you saying you can’t do it.

Doulas aren’t there to replace anyone

Like your mother or mother-in-law or even your partner if you want any or all of them there.

Having a doula comes with some pretty amazing benefits for all parties involved.

Here’s 2 amazing non-hippie reasons to get the most value from having a professional doula attend your birth:

1) Less drama!

Can’t figure out how to tell your mom/mom-in-law that you DON’T want her in the room at your birth?

Worried one of them will get offended?

Not sure how they will react if you do allow them in the birth room?

Worried they will smother or not be fully supportive?

No problem. Get a doula

Because she won’t be offended or worried, nor will she smother or not support you.

Actually, she will help you make your first decision as a mother yourself – your decision about your birth.

And she will fully support you through it.

And often that means helping you make a decision involving complex family dynamics such as who’s allowed in the birth room or not.

She’ll help you craft a plan for your family so they’re not feeling offended and you’re not feeling bombarded with family when you’d really prefer having a good hour or two with just your little one and your man.

And your family ends up winning in the end too because you’re not resentful toward them because you didn’t have the courage, guts, or support to speak up and ask for what you really wanted for your birth in the first place.

Less drama with family at the birth = an easier, quicker, more pleasurable birth for you and your family in the end…always.

2) Less interventions!

If you’re wanting a natural birth, doulas are the way to go.

That’s because most women don’t perceive their labor to be what it actually is.

So they end up going to the hospital long before it’s time to go.

And then they get stuck in the hospital for far longer than they’d hoped or feel really disappointed because they’re sent home.

Having a professional, experienced doula cuts all that crap.

Don’t believe me?

Doulas have been proven to have the following incredibly important impacts on birth:

  • 31% decrease in the use of Pitocin
  • 28% decrease in the risk of C-section
  • 12% increase in the likelihood of a spontaneous vaginal birth
  • 9% decrease in the use of any medications for pain relief

So, if you want a natural, intervention-free birth, you’re much more likely to have it when you hire a doula for this non-hippie reason… she’ll labor with you at home for as long as you’re comfortable.

Probably not in the forest. But maybe, if that’s how you roll.

And since she’s already there, she’ll be available to help you make an educated decision about when to go to the hospital so you’re not there laboring all day and all night in uncomfortable surroundings.

Cascade of interventions? Bye-bye.

So you see, doulas aren’t all about helping you birth your baby in the forest, unless that’s what you want of course.

We’re really here for you, no matter what.

And knowing that you feel supported no matter what is all that matters to us.

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. If you’re in Lafayette, LA and are wanting me as your doula, reply to this blog/email for a special $200 discount if you pay in full by Wednesday, November 2, 2016. That’s an $800 service for $600 whoa!!!

I NEVER DO THIS! So get in touch with me NOW!

6 Keys to Reclaiming Your Power and Confidence in Birth

6 Keys to Reclaiming Your Power and Confidence in Birth

Has anyone ever rolled their eyes or looked at you funny when you told them you wanted a natural birth?

That’s because we’ve all been brainwashed.

If you’re like me, you’ve been told since you were a little girl that birth is painful and horrible and that you’re going to not only WANT the drugs, but also NEED them.

So, you do what everyone else does and let the doctor handle it.

Unless you’re hardheaded like me and decide from the get-go that it doesn’t have to be that way for you.

Good new is… it doesn’t.

Bad new is… you’re gonna have to put in some time and effort to learn what it takes to reverse the brainwashing and get confident.

If you want to get confident about having an empowering, ecstatic, natural birth, you need to watch the free masterclass I have for you here.

Cause in it, you’ll learn the 6 keys to reclaiming your power and confidence in birth.

Only when you know the “what” and “why”, can you practice the HOW to have the birth experience you’re really wanting.

Check it out here!

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. Have you heard I’m hosting a postpartum event soon? If you’re in Lafayette, LA, check it out here

How to Create a Rocking Postpartum Sex Life

How to Create a Rocking Postpartum Sex Life

One of the biggest complaints from mama’s after welcoming a new baby is an indifference towards establishing a postpartum sex life.

 

Between meeting the needs of the baby, lack of sleep because of said baby, feeling touched-out, your breasts serving a purpose other than pleasure, pain or numbness from tears, episiotomies, or birth trauma – having a baby can do a number on your sex life making you wonder when or if you’ll ever even want it back.

This issue stems from our lack of attention and treatment to postpartum women in our culture. Sure, we’re told to not exercise or have sex for 6 weeks and to start doing kegels as soon as it feels right – which is good and all but the truth is, we have some serious room for improvement when it comes to postpartum support.

Sadly, it’s the status quo to just deal with your new body and suck it up even if something feels off or not right. No one talks about incontinence, or pain or numbness around the vulva or vagina so the issue is never diagnosed or treated leaving sex the last thing you’re wanting.

But, with the proper knowledge and attention on your self care and pelvic floor health, things can go back to normal and have you feeling like the most energized and sexually satisfied new mama on the block sooner rather than later.

To create a rocking postpartum sex life, here are a few things to consider:

 

1) Understand that your pelvic bowl is probably way out of alignment and do something about it:

You’ve been growing a baby in your uterus for 9 months and have just passed a 6-10lb baby through your pelvis. This means all of your organs and muscles have gone through a lot of changes and could totally use some gentle manipulation to get things back in alignment and to support your body’s natural healing process.

The first thing you could do is to schedule a belly binding session with a postpartum doula or friend who’s familiar with Bengkung belly binding.

Bengkung belly binding is a traditional Malaysian belly binding method. Essentially it’s a practice of tying a long strip of cloth around the abdomen during the postpartum recovery period to ensure a strong support to your womb after childbirth.

It’s also a great way to help you get back in alignment because it takes advantage of the Relaxin in your body (a hormone that helped your body become looser and more flexible in order to birth your baby) by putting pressure on the hips and pelvis to go back to its pre pregnancy state. It also helps to firm and support the areas that are still loose from pregnancy as the Relaxin reduces in your body. (For a belly binding expert in Lafayette, LA, contact Samantha here).

Another thing you could do to facilitate getting your pelvic bowl re-aligned is to have a chiropractic adjustment and to schedule a Mayan abdominal massage to help get your uterus, pelvic bowl ligaments and sacrum aligned. If you’re not familiar with Maya abdominal massage, check out this post here.

If you’re experiencing pain or numbness around your vulva or inside of your vagina, be sure to request a referral to a pelvic health specialist (usually a physical therapist) from your OB/GYN because pain or numbness is NOT normal nor is it ok to suffer in silence.

Doing everything you can to support your physical body getting back to normal so you don’t have pain in your pelvis or abdomen will have you feeling better and more confident about sex sooner than later.

2) Consider encapsulating your placenta

One of the biggest shocks to your postpartum body is adjusting to pre-pregnancy hormonal levels. By day 4 postpartum, your body will experience a sort of hormonal crash that may leave you feeling exhausted and may take you weeks to bounce back to your pre-pregnancy hormonal levels.

But, placenta encapsulation could help you bounce back sooner. If you think it’s a new fad, think again. It’s actually an ancient Traditional Chinese Medicine practice where you ingest the placenta after it’s been steamed, dehydrated, ground, and placed into capsules.

Some of the benefits include increased release of the love hormone, oxytocin, which also helps your uterus return to it’s normal size, increase in corticotropin-releasing hormone – a stress-reducing hormone, decreased chances of developing postpartum depression, restoration of your blood iron levels, increased milk production, and increased energy levels… to name a few.

Reduced stress, balanced hormones, more energy? Heck yeah that sounds sexy! It’s worth a try.

(If you’re in Lafayette, LA, I can do that for you…check it out here).

 3) Start a jade egg practice

 One of my favorite tools for reestablishing great pelvic floor health as well as to awaken and ignite your sexual energy after having a baby is the jade egg.

The jade egg is actually a small egg-shaped stone that you put up your vagina to help regain strength, feeling, and sensitivity within and around your vaginal muscles.

It’s way better than doing kegels alone because the jade egg activates energy channels in your body and opens you up to pleasure and reconnects you to your sexual and creative power. It does this by massaging reflexology points in your vagina within your pelvic floor and encourages balance, beauty and youth.

The jade egg has been around for thousands of years and it comes from China where ancient Toaist highpriesteses, (who were pretty much spiritual badasses) used the practice to increase their sexual energy and awaken spiritually. It’s like yoga for the vagina.

To get started, you can purchase one from Layla Martin here or Jillian Anderson here.

4) Establish a daily self-care routine

Just as establishing a rhythm and ritual in birth is vital to an effective labor, you need to establish a daily self-care ritual to fuel your own fire and fane your own flame to allow more pleasure into your life.

Yes, you just had a baby but you are still a human being with needs and desires too. So instead of expecting others to meet your needs, (like your partner) and secretly becoming resentful, you need to carve out a good 30 minutes each day to take care of yourself and refuel.

A woman who takes care of herself is radiant, wanting, energized, and turned on, but a woman who doesn’t and puts her needs last is needy, clingy, resentful, and turned off.

Taking care of you is NOT selfish. There’s a reason that flight attendants always tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others: it’s because you must take care of yourself before you can be effective at taking care of others!

How this looks in your daily life will vary depending on what you like. For some, it may mean taking a 30 minute undisturbed, candlelit Epsom salt bath, followed by lathering yourself in coconut oil and your favorite essential oil while your partner takes care of the baby.

For others, it may look like scheduling a mani/pedi appointment or going for a walk with a good friend in your neighborhood for an hour in-between breastfeeding sessions while your partner takes care of the baby.

Whatever it is you like that makes you feel good, it’s YOUR responsibility to make it known to your partner and ask for help and some undisturbed time for self care away from the baby every single day.

This will help you from feeling touched-out or feeling like a human pacifier. So, by all means, make your needs and self-care a priority because you WILL feel more tuned in and turned on if you’re allowing yourself a wee bit of time and space to just take care of you every single day.

5) Get enough sleep

Most new mama’s have no idea how much they’re actually going to be up every night with the baby. That’s why it’s important to understand what getting enough sleep means.

It means that you keep a notepad and pen by your bed and track how long you sleep in between each feeding and you don’t get up or dress yourself for the day until you’ve gotten at least 8 hours total.

If that means you go to bed at 10:00pm but you wake up 3 times to feed the baby and are up for an hour each time, than you don’t get up and dress yourself until 9:00am, not 6:00am.

It probably goes without saying, but being well-rested will have you feeling way more ready to give and receive pleasure than being exhausted. No one feels turned-on and ready to go when they’re exhausted.

6) Shift your focus from sex to connection

Having a rocking postpartum sex life is so much more than just the sex – it’s really about the connection. And having a new baby in the house will cause you to have to get a little more creative about when and how you connect.

It may mean that you spend less time actually having sex and more time sharing your fears, desires and things you love about each other with each other.

Whether it’s intense eye gazing for a prolonged period of time, giving sensual massages, him giving you all the attention without pressure for penetration or you giving him the pleasure without performance pressure – getting creative about ways that you can connect with each other outside of penetration for a few months postpartum could have the two of you feeling more connected and turned-on than ever.

The great thing about shifting your focus from sex to connection is that it will allow the two of you to explore each other in ways that you never have further increasing the connection and chemistry.

It might take some time, but the more you focus on connecting deeply with one another, the sooner you will be ready.

If you’re curious about ways to more deeply connect with your partner, be sure to check out this amazing online masterclass for couples here.

With so much love,

Lacey

p.s. Not postpartum yet but wanna feel really confident about having a natural birth? Be sure to sign up for my free webinar: 6 Keys to Reclaiming Your Power and Confidence in Birth. Learn what it takes to get confident, empowered and free to give birth on your terms right here on October 17, noon CDT.