I remember the first time someone asked me if doulas were only for people who wanted to have their babies in the forest.
Poor dude was trying to strike a conversation with me during my single days
But…it didn’t work.
I’m a pretty decent flirter, but when he said that…
I had no idea where to start.
First of all, he didn’t look like he had any kids.
I mean, how do you go about explaining emotional and physical labor support to someone that’s obviously never been there/never gonna go there?
It was too much. So I spared myself the trouble, stood up and left.
Seems I can’t escape it though cause, in reality, I get this question in some form or the other from many of my client’s well-intentioned but clueless mother’s, mother-in-law’s, or partner’s.
Like, all the time.
They have no idea why their strong, successful, independent daughter or partner would wanna hire some hippie doula to be at her birth.
I mean, after all, why isn’t mama or husband enough support?
And so, often, the well-intentioned but clueless family vets about hiring the hippie doula the entire pregnancy.
You see, when I was pregnant and starting to learn about natural birth and how you can optimize your chances of having one with a professional doula, it made sense to me…
But for a lot of people a generation behind me
And a lot of well-intentioned but clueless men
Doulas = woo woo crystal-loving hippie ladies that tell mamas how to have their babies in the forest instead of the hospital.
I get that people don’t understand what doulas do or why you’d ever want one
because somewhere along the line, doulas got a bad rap for being rebellious, ill-mannered, full of drama, and too woo for anyone’s good.
That’s simply not true.
Having a doula is a lot like having a sister that knows a lot more about pregnancy and birth than your actual sister or mother does.
And is professionally trained and certified in how to support you both emotionally and physically through the process.
Without judgment or a hidden agenda.
And most of the time without fairy dust or a magic wand.
But without the sort of emotional attachment that will let you cave at the first sign of you saying you can’t do it.
Doulas aren’t there to replace anyone
Like your mother or mother-in-law or even your partner if you want any or all of them there.
Having a doula comes with some pretty amazing benefits for all parties involved.
Here’s 2 amazing non-hippie reasons to get the most value from having a professional doula attend your birth:
1) Less drama!
Can’t figure out how to tell your mom/mom-in-law that you DON’T want her in the room at your birth?
Worried one of them will get offended?
Not sure how they will react if you do allow them in the birth room?
Worried they will smother or not be fully supportive?
No problem. Get a doula
Because she won’t be offended or worried, nor will she smother or not support you.
Actually, she will help you make your first decision as a mother yourself – your decision about your birth.
And she will fully support you through it.
And often that means helping you make a decision involving complex family dynamics such as who’s allowed in the birth room or not.
She’ll help you craft a plan for your family so they’re not feeling offended and you’re not feeling bombarded with family when you’d really prefer having a good hour or two with just your little one and your man.
And your family ends up winning in the end too because you’re not resentful toward them because you didn’t have the courage, guts, or support to speak up and ask for what you really wanted for your birth in the first place.
Less drama with family at the birth = an easier, quicker, more pleasurable birth for you and your family in the end…always.
2) Less interventions!
If you’re wanting a natural birth, doulas are the way to go.
That’s because most women don’t perceive their labor to be what it actually is.
So they end up going to the hospital long before it’s time to go.
And then they get stuck in the hospital for far longer than they’d hoped or feel really disappointed because they’re sent home.
Having a professional, experienced doula cuts all that crap.
Don’t believe me?
Doulas have been proven to have the following incredibly important impacts on birth:
- 31% decrease in the use of Pitocin
- 28% decrease in the risk of C-section
- 12% increase in the likelihood of a spontaneous vaginal birth
- 9% decrease in the use of any medications for pain relief
So, if you want a natural, intervention-free birth, you’re much more likely to have it when you hire a doula for this non-hippie reason… she’ll labor with you at home for as long as you’re comfortable.
Probably not in the forest. But maybe, if that’s how you roll.
And since she’s already there, she’ll be available to help you make an educated decision about when to go to the hospital so you’re not there laboring all day and all night in uncomfortable surroundings.
Cascade of interventions? Bye-bye.
So you see, doulas aren’t all about helping you birth your baby in the forest, unless that’s what you want of course.
We’re really here for you, no matter what.
And knowing that you feel supported no matter what is all that matters to us.
With so much love,
p.s. If you’re in Lafayette, LA and are wanting me as your doula, reply to this blog/email for a special $200 discount if you pay in full by Wednesday, November 2, 2016. That’s an $800 service for $600 whoa!!!
I NEVER DO THIS! So get in touch with me NOW!