I spent years avoiding pleasure because I didn’t have the knowledge or tools to get myself through the heartbreak that made pleasure unbearable.
I didn’t feel that I deserved it.
And I was too afraid to feel it for fear of loosing it…again.
Of course, that belief was under the false pretense that pleasure came from something outside of me. And no one told me otherwise.
So I spent years avoiding pleausre.
Nothing about life was sweet, music sounded ok, colors were just colors, and flowers were just flowers. I was not living. I was stuck.
Until one day, I vowed that I’d get myself out of this and find out what it’d take to bring pleasure back into my life and feel truly alive again.
Today, I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments to have turned all that around.
It took a hell a lot of courage I didn’t know I had.
It started with saying yes to my life.
And the first thing I said YES to after becoming single at 27 with a 6 month old and a 3 year old was a next level relationship.
Dating was scary. as. hell.
It took getting curious about what would happen if I let go of attachment and hope for the relationship I wanted with a particular man that wouldn’t say yes.
Then connecting with my desire and what brought me pleasure and focusing instead on that.
Letting go of negative, limited belief systems around pleasure and desire from childhood that no longer served me.
And after meeting my husband, expanding more and more every day into what is even possible when it comes to pleasure and intimacy between two people.
Unfortunately, I had no idea what was possible in the form of pleasure when I birthed my babies.
And even though I’m not having any more, I do know that it’s possible to have pleasurable, even orgasmic birth experiences.
I’ve spent a year and a half expanding the upper limits of pleasure in my body, and breaking through limits of possibility with my partner.
And I’m now feeling more alive than ever.
Sometimes, what I feel in my body scares me whether it’s pain in a particular area or a new sensation. Just like in labor and birth.
But instead of letting the fear and pain get the best of me, the wise woman inside me reminds me that it’s ok to be afraid, you don’t have to shut down.
Stop where you are in the fear, the pain, or the new sensation. Feel into it. Breathe. Move towards it. Lean into it. Slowly. Keep breathing. De-armor. There’s something amazing on the other side of it.
And that’s exactly what I hope for birthing women who are a bit more ahead of me than I was birthing my babies not knowing the possibility for pleasure.
Don’t let the fear and pain of labor and birth shut you down in the process.
Feel into it. Don’t escape it. Stay in your body. Breathe. Lean into it. There is pleasure on the other side of what you’re feeling.
And it will make you laugh uncontrollable.
Or cry in ecstasy.
Or maybe even scream like a wild woman.
It’s possible and I show you how right here in today’s video.
Are you excited at the possibility of having a pleasurable or even orgasmic birth? I’d love to hear from you about where you’re at and how you’re preparing for it.
If you have any burning pregnancy/birth related questions you’d love to ask, send them to firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll answer it via vlog in the next few days. You’ll remain anonymous.
With so much love,