Why is it so hard to find a medical provider to support your desire for a natural, empowering birth?
I meet and talk to so many women who feel that they aren’t supported in having the natural, empowering birth they want simply because their medical provider doesn’t seem 100% on board.
I hate to brake it to you mama’s, but what you’re missing is that if you’ve hired a doctor to be your medical provider for the natural, empowering birth you want and you’re not feeling supported, you’ve hired the wrong person.
It’s that simple.
You need to find someone else.
I totally understand why you might be hesitant to change providers though. Let me guess your reasons:
1) Your partner, family and/or friends would think you’re crazy for wanting to hire a midwife and have a homebirth or birth center birth and you’d rather not deal with the flack
I want to tell you something very important: YOU are the only one that has to birth YOUR baby ever. Not anyone else. Not your partner, not your mama, not your sister, not your best friend.
This is your body and baby that you have to care for in the way that is right for you, not the way that’s right for anyone else.
YOU are the only expert on your body. Not even a doctor, a midwife or a doula will know your body better than you unless you don’t want to know it yourself.
If you’re holding back on entertaining the idea of having a home birth or birth center birth simply because you feel like it will be a hassle to get your family and friends on board, you need to stop right now and go call one.
Not calling and talking to a provider that you KNOW would be a better fit for you is like having a winning lottery ticket and not cashing it in.
Don’t hesitate any more because you’re worried about getting everyone else on board. That stuff WILL work itself out in due time.
Right now, you have to stand up for you and what’s right for you and your baby. You are NOT being selfish for wanting a natural, empowering birth with a midwife at home or in a birth center.
You have the desire for a natural, empowering birth for a reason. If you trust your intuition and desire and go with it, things will work out for the best for everyone involved.
Leaning into your divine desire is never selfish!
2) Money. You’re with your medical provider simply because your insurance covers the cost of the visits. You don’t think you’ll find anyone else in-network that’s any better, or you don’t think you can afford a midwife
Using money as an excuse is the easiest thing anyone has ever done, like ever! Trust me, I know.
I’ve done it for years and still continue to catch that pattern from time to time. It’s so easy because everyone accepts it and understands.
But, is using money as an excuse to not have the birth you dream of ok with you?
I’m sure most of you would say “no” and understand that you will likely go on to have a hospital birth with a semi-supportive doctor simply because money really is a very real issue. I totally understand that and feel for you.
For some of you though, money might not be as much of an issue as you think simply because you don’t realize how cost effective midwives are or because you haven’t actually done the homework to find a doctor in-network that’s a better fit.
The average cost of a midwife is between $2-3,000. Come on Mama’s, $2-3,000!
The average cost of a wedding in the USofA is $26,444!
AND…most midwives accept payment plans. And even some accept insurance!
If you’re holding back on the midwife route because of money, please contact a local midwife to see if you can work something out. It’s probably not as big a deal as you think.
If finding a midwife isn’t your thing and you haven’t contacted any other doctors in-network with your insurance, you need to get started by asking questions – specifically, the questions I give you in my new .pdf to Build Your Dream Birth Team.
3) You’re not 100% committed to having a natural birth even though you say you want one.
Women have at least as many reasons for wanting a natural birth as they have pairs of shoes in the closet.
But, there’s a HUGE difference between wanting a natural birth and getting one. The bridge to that gap is commitment.
In my practice, I find that for the mama’s that aren’t committed, nearly 90% of them end up with a medicated birth.
But those who are committed, about 80% of them end up with a natural birth.
When you’re committed to doing something one way or another, you’re going to put in the work to get it and people are much more likely to support you when you’re not being wishy-washy about what you want.
When you’re not committed and wishy-washy, it makes putting in the work feel like hell – so you don’t!
Wanting and having a natural birth takes a lot of planning, preparing and learning.
You can get a medicated birth without planning, preparing or learning anything. Easy.
But, having a natural birth isn’t the norm in our society and so it takes work to go against the norm and do it.
When you’re committed, it makes doing the work enjoyable and fun rather than just another thing you have to do. Who wants that anyway? Eww.
If you’re not sure about your commitment level, I encourage you to decide asap because knowing what you want is half the battle to getting it.
So…if you are not feeling totally supported by your current medical provider to have the natural, empowering birth that you desire, download your free .pdf of Questions to Ask to Build Your Dream Birth Team right here.
You’ll feel sooooo relieved to find someone who truly supports you.
With so much love,
p.s. Craving some support and encouragement from other like-minded women wanting a natural, empowering birth? Download your .pdf and you’ll automatically be a part of the Empowered Birth Revolutionaries Email Tribe where you’ll get access to stuff I only offer via e-mail.
p.s.s. If you’re local (in Lafayette, LA) and are having trouble building a birth team that supports your desires, email me your struggles and let’s see how I can help you!